Thursday, December 11, 2003

It's Thursday morning, do you know where the contents of your stomach are?

Unfortunately, my answer has not changed in the past few days. Although I am feeling MUCh mentally better, and that's a positive thing. The ears still ring, the nausea is still firmly in effect, but it is easier for me to eat and drink.

AND! I've remembered to fight harder to have the positive mental attitude to survive this. I feel as the chemo built up in my system from the progressive treatments, I have been slipping and feeling a little too sorry for myself. The past week has been difficult, as I had an almost normal human weekend. Then Whammo, it slapped me back down. The nasties are still leeching out of me, and I need to remember that, and remember that I do NOT have any energy, and need to conserve what is there.

So today I woke up feeling a little better, a little stronger, and am going to rest, hoarding my energy, instead of trying to DO things.

My only other thought is on turning this into a book. When the doctor first told me "YOU HAVE CANCER" which I heard in a big, booming, echoing, Charleton Heston as Moses voice, I went to the bookstore to learn more. They had about a million books on breast cancer, about twenty books on eating to prevent cancer, five or six medical big heavy books on cancer in general, and nothing like I wanted.

Of course, I first started looking under "balls" then "testicles" then "man cancer". and found nothing.

So I want to turn my experience into a book about my experiences, written for guys like me, who run into the bookstore in a blind panic, looking for a bright red book that says "YOU have BALL CANCER, But you will LIVE"

My thought is to combine Jack's fantastic advice of 'take this one step at a time' into a list of chapters that are the steps you have to take. Then write out each chapter detailing how to take that step. In between each "how to" chapter, I plan to have a "my experience" chapter, drawing stories from this weblog.

SO, I already have the How-To chapter list, and once my brain is back to spinning at 90%, I will begin writing them up.

YAY! Lemons? Lemonade! Evel Knieval always said "Ameri-I-CAN" and I need to remember that, and push my positive mental attitude. I am nearly DONE with this. It IS getting better. now if you will pardon me, I need to go hurl.

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