Friday, May 30, 2003

My freindster thing sucks. I need more friends

if you read this, sign the hell up and make me your pal.

otherwise gerbils may fly

why doesn';t anyone ever leave ebay feedback that says "he has a great cock" or "wow, what chickens she has"

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

lifted all contingencies on the house, moving forward to close July 2nd.

woo hoo

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

She said yes!

Sunday, May 18, 2003

we seem to be in contract. 14 days to remove contingencies. House inspection on tuesday.

ya know what? it's scary, some banker is willing to lend me a SHITLOAD of money to buy a house.

The hair cut is wierd, I am not used to short hair

Back to building model airplanes, it feels good to work with balsa and sniff glue again. I hope to have one ready to fly by the weekend.

Oh, and Sara is still my dreamgirl. Wehn we sleep sometimes, we hold hands, it is pretty cool.

these are random disjointed thoughts.

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

fighting back and forth on the house offer.


bastards! I hate this part

i have found someone who is out there, maybe more than me.

Saturday, May 10, 2003

We are looking at a house. it is very viable. Going to meet our realtor at 6 tonight, to take another look

more as it develops

Saturday, May 03, 2003

Friday, May 02, 2003

I want to buy the damn thing,*

but will it pull a trailer? Can I fit a moto-tote on it?

I do not know why, but I am enthralled with the Scion, a new Toyota offering

it looks like a mini-minivan, and if it could haul a bike to the track, I would really need to think about it. The paint on the LLROL is going away. I gotta do something....

Thursday, May 01, 2003

This just in from my pal Janet:

Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his
room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious,

Dad. Can you help?" I put my best 'hamster-healer' face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," called, "come look at the hamster!"

Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said We didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (hint of sarcasm, here?)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my
most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, ya know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, ya think?) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced.

"We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"OH, Gross!", they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just Great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. We peered at the patient.

After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma."

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him.(Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us.

"This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy."

"What!?" "You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um.... er.... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

"Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr.. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just...just...Excited?" my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our Son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 - Hamsters - 10 bucks...

1 - Cage - 20 bucks

Trip to the Vet ...30 bucks...

Pictures of your hubby pulling on the hamster's wiener... .....Priceless


how'd that happen, I wonder.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Extreme

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

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