Saturday, December 31, 2005
One of the guys I work with asked for a listing, as I was building the email, I thought, Heck, put it on the blog.
The name will have a link to info about it, Then I put a brief description of what I know
Lo Han Kuo Beverage: I melt 1 cube in hot water every morning and drink as tea. It works very well at clearing out nasal congestion, and makes breathing easier. I do not know why.
Haw Flakes: these work very well to calm the stomach. More info here. Available online
Po Chai Pills: These come in a box, with small bottles of pills in the box. you take one bottle per day, till you feel better. Po Chai Pills fix diarreah, upset stomach, and work pretty well on hangovers. I took these when I was in Mexico, and I was the ONLY guy on the trip that did not get the trots. I did not know there was a po chai pill song.
Gan Mao Ling: Come in a bottle of 36 yellow tablets. Good for cold and flu symptoms. Ken recommends 2 tablets per day if you are sick.
Bojenmi Tea: This is a dieter's tea, meant to flush toxins out of your system.
Tiger Balm: the Asian version of Vicks-Vapo-Rub, but without the bad childhood memories? :) Tiger Balm works great to rub on your forehead and sinuses, helps clear them out. chest too. I am told if you rub some under your nose, and are caught on a flight next to some stinkey engineers, it will help mask the smell for almost 8 hours
A Polish immigrant goes to the Wisconsin Department of Motor Vehicles in Milwaukee to apply for a driver's license and is told he has to take an eye test. The examiner shows him a card with the letters:
C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z
"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I drink beer with him."
A friend of mine's birthday is coming up. I want to get her a gift, as she is a good pal. And I have NO FREAKIN IDEA what to get.
The more I think about this, Wish lists are a great idea. In csase you have been under a rock for the past 3 - 5 years, a wish list is set up on a store's web site. People can go to this site, and add things they want. You can browse, buy online, or not. But it gives the gift buyer a slight clue as to what the gift recipient really wants.
On one hand, it is somewhat tacky, like "get me THIS" but on the other hand, when people WANT to send you a gift, they do not end up frustrated and buying crap you cannot use.
this is especially important for the "hard to buy for" kind of person.
So today, I think Wish Lists are a good idea.
You should register at places like:
If you can think of any other cool wishlist places, Please feel free to email me. Also! If you HAVE a wish list, email that to me too!
Friday, December 30, 2005
It was on Ebay, of course: SwissPlay watch, $300. but the description is pretty cool. turns out it is a "Hi-Fashion" watch. I'd have never known.
After becoming insanely jealous over Derek's bling watch, I decided to look for a more bling watch. and found it.
but I am not sure I am cool enough to pull it off.... I know, spinners are played, but.... if I had a Pimp Cup to go with it...
I could chill at the crib, kickin back 40s out my pimp cup, listening to Three 6 Mafia? Of course I'd be smackin my beeyotches around... like, how cool would that be?
Well, if you changed:
"Crib" to "3/2 suburban ranch"
"40s" to "Shiner Beer"
"pimp cup" to "ice-cold bottle"
"3-6 Mafia" to "Dwight Yoakum"
"smackin" to "being all nice and listening"
"my beeyotches" to "my girlfreind Sara"
HOLY CRAP Batman.
I am not cool enough for an iced out spinner watch OR a SwissPlay watch. I better stick to the clock on my cell phone, listening to rockabilly on my 8-track, and hangin out at the ranch.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
We opened goodies yesterday. It was grand, thanks to all, and so on.
One of the gifts Sara got me is a new dirtbike gear bag. The hope is to have 1 bag that will allow you to carry boots, helmets, gloves, tools, goggles, chest protectors, etc. etc. all the gear for YOU. It should be in a big bag, so you don't have to make 15 different trips to load your gear.
This is what Sara got me.
Ya know, your luggage SHOULD be big enough for you to fit in.
I also bought a used Yamaha Chappy. Like my pal IMD in Austin has. It needs footpegs, some rear brake parts, but I got it running today, and put the required flat track bars on it. whee!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Sadly, becoming commercialized with these bastards selling a Festivus Pole.
No, I will not buy one. And do not encourage anyone to buy one. The holidays are too commercial.
The only cool thing I recommend is waiting for the day AFTER christmas to stock up on cheap LEDs for your DIY projects.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
(by the way, the food poisioning is better. I am , errr, solid and confident now)
Why is blogger being such a pita. it is difficult to post photos today and yesterday
Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was "more humane".
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes. Ever.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Helen Keller's favorite color was Chuck Norris.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not see dead people; he makes people dead.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'"
Monday, December 19, 2005
I've been to too many of these, and become jaded. All the manufacturers bring the new year model bikes out, and they all kinda look the same. There just was not that much I liked
Motards are definitely coming in. But, I am interested in dirt.
Johnny Campbell's Baja 1000 winner was there.
Sara sat on the Honda XR650L - a watered down street legal version. Meh. just not wonderful
We saw the new Aprilla Motard. Very expensive, and not street legal till 2008
Sara sat on a Husquevarna she kinda liked, but pronounced the seat as 'no'
She also sat on the Ducati MultiStrada, which we both like very much. Too bad it is so expensive. She questioned if she just refused to get off the bike, would they let her take it home? They didn't.
We ran into Jack at the BOSS stunt show. The Landers brothers used to race YSR50 motorcycles with me a million years ago in Texas. Now they are all growed up and doing stunt shows. It was cool to watch, but the venue was not the best. If you were short (like me) you missed a lot of it
Afterwards we stopped by the Motion Pro booth and visited my pal Chris Van Andel. I think Jack got some photos, but they are not up yet.
I like the camo on this CRF 450
Then we went to the bar. The Convention Center, and the super stupid expensive tent are attached to the Hilton and Mariott hotels. We stopped in the Hilton Bar/Restaurant, where Sonia was our waitress. Poor girl, second day on the job, and she did not understand how to do it.
After much effort, we got some food and drinks. Ate, talked smack with Jack, Joan, Dale, Linda and Rob (not Robert)
Got home, answered emails about the possible sale of the mighty festiva.
We watched the Simpsons, sat around a bit and went to bed. I was not feeling tops, my stomach was a bit gurgley. At 2am, exactly. I don't mean 2:04 I don't mean 1:57, at dead up 2:00am, I sat bolt upright, and realized I had food poisioning.
Ran to the bathroom, and releated most every chemo scene I could remember. Barf barf, poop poop, ack, both at once.
It was gross, and I don't mind saying, the whole time I was thinking "Hamburger at the Hilton" "that bitch Paris poisioned me!"
i believe I completely unloaded the contents of my stomach by 2:30-ish, got some water (gotta rehydrate) and went back to bed.
I have not eaten this morning, but I am drinking lots of water and juice. My guts feel all gurgley, and if I did not have to meet this guy who wants to buy Sara's car? I would go home.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Both were roomates, both shared food with Ladybird. Both have really turned their lives around.
It was great to hear from.
Jeff has gone into the ministry, and I hope he is still helping homeless kids. He signed his email with a passage from Isaiah, which reminded me of my Haftorah reading from my Bar Mitzvah. Also from Isaiah:
12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
13 And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?
14 The captive exile hasteneth that he may be loosed, and that he should not die in the pit, nor that his bread should fail.
15 But I am the LORD thy God, that divided the sea, whose waves roared: The LORD of hosts is his name.
16 And I have put my words in thy mouth, and I have covered thee in the shadow of mine hand, that I may plant the heavens, and lay the foundations of the earth, and say unto Zion, Thou art my people.
it took me a couple of years to actually understand what this meant. But basically, God is saying to man, don't be afraid of man. but remember me. Take your time, all problems will fade.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I was 8 or 9 I think, and definitely the shortest guy in my class. My dad is like, 6'2", so we wondered if something was not right with me. We were in North East Texas, where the 8th grade football team has 6'4" 240 lb players. And so, we agreed to drive to Dallas and visit the endroc.
for growth in kids? LOTS AND LOTS of blood samples, measurement, timed radiation tests, etc.... blood marrow, spinal fluid.
for a scrawny kid who hated needles, this was torture. they actually had to strap me into the chair. HELL, they had a chair that had straps on it! to draw fluids.
They gave me some drugs that caused me to barf up anything in my guts.
They poked and prodded, needled and examined.
This was an ALL-DAY thing.
We took a break for lunch. Dad told me I could have anything I wanted, which, (remember, I was 7 or 8) was ? Burger King. I wanted a whopper, fries AND onion rings, and a large orange soda.
None of which made it out of the restaurant with me. The drugs caused me to barf them right up. And again in my dad's car
As we drove back to the endrocrinologists office, i remember offering all sorts of deals to my dad if we did not have to go back. He told me we made a committment, we would finish today, be strong, and see what they had to say.
More needles, actually, I do not remember most of the afternoon. I blanked a lot of the blood draws out of my mind. I remember crying and screaming, and lots of pain.
I remember screaming, SCREAMING at the TOP of my lungs "daddy, don't let the mean man hurt me anymore. Daddy I love you. I will be a good boy. Make him stop."
When we left, dad took me to some restaurant, I cannot remember which, and bought me a ginormous ice cream sunday something that I wanted.
It came up in the parking lot. and in his car.
We drove home to Longview, and decided I did not want to take the injections neccesarry to stimulate my growth. The doctor told my folks I would be a normal kid. I'm not as tall as my dad, or my kid brother Louis. Louis was always gonna be tall. He was tall as a kid, and kept it on till adult. I think he is still growing.
(old photo, maybe 1989)
Years later, i can recall the pain, the screaming, and the love of my father, to endure watching his son go through this, because they all thought it could benefit me. My dad was sitting in a room listening to me yell all these things, he knew I was in pain, but he was hoping science would help me be tall. And that was what I wanted.
My dad loves me. He's a great dad.
I won't go back to an endrocrinologist. nope. bad memory there.
I'm 5'6" and I think I am actually shrinking. every year I get a little rounder, a little balder, I look more and more like my maternal grandfather. Grandpa Saul was a stylish guy. I am okay with that.
I'll never be 6'+ Blonde hair and Blue eyes, like I always wanted when I was growing up.
And ya know what?
I am pretty gosh-dang happy.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Sara and I went to see "Walk the Line" last night. swell flick.
today? we head up to James & Tara's for her birthday, then across skyline to my pal Vicky's to dispose of some vintage computers for her.
next week, I hope the mood still holds, and I will start clearing junk out of my garage
a freind of mine in Austin has lost almost everyhting. Motivation and drive being first and foremost. He is living in a van, no, not down by the river, .... yet. But close
He called last week, the storage place was gonna sell off all his stuff, he has no money, etc. etc. I called and put half the storage bill on my credit card. NO, I don't have money to toss around, but it is your friends, whadda ya do? You help them.
It reminded me of something I always say. Friends are the most important thing you have.
DO what you can to help them.
I hope he finds his motivation in the storage place, so he gets everyhting back on track.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
You entered: 7/25/1964
You were born on a Saturday
under the astrological sign Leo.
Your Life path number is 7.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2438601.5.
The golden number for 1964 is 8.
The epact number for 1964 is 16.
The year 1964 was a leap year.
As of 12/8/2005 5:49:47 PM EST
You are 41 years old.
You are 497 months old.
You are 2,159 weeks old.
You are 15,111 days old.
You are 362,681 hours old.
You are 21,760,909 minutes old.
You are 1,305,654,587 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 5.91428571428571 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)
There are 229 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 42 candles
Those 42 candles produce 42 BTUs,
or 10,584 calories of heat (that's only 10.5840 food Calories!) .
You can boil 4.80 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1964 there were approximately 4.2 million births in the US.
In 1964 the US population was approximately 179,323,175 people, 50.6 persons per square mile.
In 1964 in the US there were approximately 1,523,000 marriages (8.5%) and 393,000 divorces (2.2%)
In 1964 in the US there were approximately 1,712,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
Your birthstone is Ruby
The Mystical properties of Ruby
Ruby is said to open one's heart to love.Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Your birth tree is
Elm Tree, the noble-mindedness
Pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest demands, tends not forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, tends to a know-all-attitude and making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humour, practical.
So my dad had a shoebox full of old 8mm & Super8mm movies, you know, the embarrasing ones when I was a kid crawling around with a diaper in my mouth, etc.
As a hobby/business, Sara's dad is converting old movies to DVD.
Hmmm! this is such a brilliant idea.
So the dad's are in concert now, and soon enough, my mom will be able to email embarrasing video clips of me to everyone in the internet world.....
Now all this got me to thinking. There must me a HUGE market for people wanting to convert their ultra rare collection of 78's from vinyl to CD/Mp3.
With a little research, I found many people ARE doing this. But really, I want MY albumns converted. And I found a website that details exactly how to do this. If you have a PeeCee. (sorry, no mac instructions)
I think I may be on my way to a Radio Shack to get the adapter cables. I have a 78-speed record player, as well as a quality 33/45 player.
Maybe I should do this, when I have time.
Maybe someone should offer it as a business.
and if anyone using Blogger knows how to make the word verification turn off, I would not mind a hint....
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Which is a good thing. I do not want to examine the books, it would be a large investment of time and energy, and really? I do not like the porn business.
I'd rather go with Matthew's latest scheme, and open a topless bar in the north wilderness by some oil pipeline. What? Fort Murray, or something like that
Anyhow, thanks for the interest, I am declaring the Porn Ebay Auction no longer of interest.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
DO NOT buy this for me, please.
UPDATE: I mention this to some of my pals, and they each say "I'm in."
10 guys, $10 k each. hmmm
a heeb Accountant as one of the investors, to initially look at the financials (Steve?)
a heeb attorney because, well, everyone needs some of those, crap, but where?
someone who knows film... (Chris to the white courtesy phone please)
someone big. Cause you always need a big guy. (Jack?)
OH, a british Accent? Martin!
Someone who knows porn star chicks. Creech?
crap, I gotta go send some emails
Friday, December 02, 2005
This is not safe for work, and you just probably should miss todays blog entry.... I am sorry. My brain is spinning in a distrubed fashion.
I do not really know what a Swarovski Crystal is. I found web definitions, but none of them really make sense:
Swarovski Crystal is one of the finest crystals produced in the world today and is noted for its purity, brilliance and reflective qualities. It is a synthetic crystal produced in Austria using a formula perfected by Daniel Swarovski and his sons at the end of the 19th century. What sets Swarovski crystals apart from other imitations is the superior quality of the cutting and polishing used in the finished product.
Swarovski is an Austrian company that makes high-quality rhinestones, beautiful cut crystals, costume jewelry, and other glass-related items.
So with more research, I find it is a damn rhinestone. GO Ron Popeil (who, by the way, has a hot grand-daughter!) Anyhow, I got sidetracked back to the Crystals!
Swarovski crystals are used for jewlery. I know about Jewelry. (my people did put the JEW in Jewelry! well, maybe not, according to this guy)
How can these guys say they are not a hate site?
Where do diamonds come from?
Where does Diamond Jewlery come from?
Anyhow,..... (and now we get to the icky part) I do not know why someone would want to put a Swarovski Crystal in their butt. then call it Jewlery! Jewlery is a ring, or a nice strand of pearls. Not something you cram up your keester.
So the folks at Beverly Hills Choppers (great example of a crappy website) made a Swarovski Crystal covered motorcycle designed for Paris Hilton's keester to go ON, not for the bike to go IN. Apparently they made & gave to stop a lawsuit where Rod Stewart's daughter fell OFF a chopper?
I am thinking the butt plug people may be missing an accessorizing fashion opportunity here.
Folks, in case you did not get it. that's a ONE WAY VALVE. ONE WAY. things come out, but do NOT go IN! especially rhinestones.
i need a nap OY!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Well, it triggered my memory of Raging Rudolph. Our red nosed pal and the island of misfit toys as a Martin Scorcese (MadTV) remix.
I can no longer see the original Rankin-Bass special without dropping to the floor with laughter, Rudolph and Ernie the Drill! Yukon Cornelious as a heavy? Oh, it's creative.
I know mom meant well. I'd meet other jews, I'd have new experiences, yadda yadda.
It sucked. My room had grey cinderblock walls, enough space for 2 twin beds, and 2 crappy desks. There were 3 of these rooms connected to a main "suite" that had vanitys with sinks, and 2 bathrooms. I did not like any of the guys in my suite, and they did not like me.
Heck, I did not know them, I did not know where I was, I did not even know how to do my own laundry. (yes, I bought the small vending machine pack of soap and threw it in with the clothes. unopened)
That was one of the "bad years" in my life.
I did not have an alarm clock, so I drove to the nearest store I could find, A target. And bought the cheapest red LED digital clock they had. A Cosmo-Time(tm) clock for $3. I've had that clock ever since. It's a plain little number, with fake walnut adhesive over a black plastic case, maybe 7 inches by 3 inches by 2 inches high? It has been with me through thick and thin,
Later that year, the esteemed Dr. Nell Dale, chairman of the UT Undergrad computing program told me "Mr. Statman, personal computers are a fad. They will vanish soon. You need to learn PASCAL and COBOL. Computers are only going to be used for business. Stop wasting my time with your talk about modems and BASIC. VAX is the only real platform."
I dropped out of the program, and applied computers to practical, real world problems. Eventually evolving a spreadsheet into a database allowing a political candidate to have 'help' remembering people, places, dates, names and contributions.
When we got home from the desert on Sunday night, it was flashing. A usual sign the power failed in the house. Only resetting the time would not clear the flash. Nor would replacing the battery. It is time for me to face the fact, the circuit board on the clock has given up the ghost. It has degraded from flashing the time, to flashing 12:00, to just the colon :
I've spent years looking at it's little glowing red numbers, sort of a security blanket. I knew what time it was, and I knew where I was, by seeing it.
I unplugged it for the last time. Pulled the battery out. I even looked on eBay, hoping to find the exact model, thinking I could swap the guts.
No, I have not gone to a store to pick out a replacement. I am gonna take this one apart, and consider hacking it. Maybe I can keep the case, and make another controller?