Thursday, November 30, 2006

Boy did not want to sleep last night. He was cranky and surly, and kept making 'ack ack' sounds

So I put him in bed with me. He snored and slept like a rock. We did not deviate from the plan. We know, the PLAN is sound. Fed him at midnight and 3am. back to bed each time.

at 5:30, he woke up crying with a wet diaper. Changed him, back to bed Sara got him up at 6.

We left for daycare at 7:45, and arrived at 8:35. Traffic was stinky.

In other news, I posted a link about the Ferrari 312PB model?

Here is a video interview with the builder, showcasing the car.

The sound of the motor running is amazing, almost like the real ones.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Well, we had a better morning that last night.

I woke up, did my morning ritual, while Sara was feeding Tarzan, getting him prepped for his big day.

Sara has to go back to work today, so Tarzan has started going to daycare.

Scribbles & Giggles daycare for medically delicate children. I met Ann the director, and Lilly, one of the nurses, both are very nice, and the daycare did not have that "daycare smell." You know, either poopy diapers, OR lots of industrial cleaners. Everyone was friendly and happy to see Saul.

They are able to tend to his medical issues, as well as work to wean him from tube feedings. And they are located next door to Sub-Acute Saratoga Hospital. A hospital with a full medical staff .

I felt very good about him being there. They are interested in helping all their kids, and it sure isn't a 'kennel'.

Then I was driving in to work, listening to NPR, when I heard the following commentary by Leroy Sievers.

Titled "The things we knew we should be doing all along" it made sense to me, and it helps explain some of the things I do that make Sara cringe. She puts up with it, and I live like I want. Cause I KNOW, I have SEEN, life is short. Don't waste it.

Here's his commentary, if you don't want to link.

he following is a commentary from Morning Edition, Nov. 27, 2006:

I was up at the cancer center the other day, waiting for a friend. I just sat and watched all the people. You can tell the regulars right away. They walk with purpose. Off to the lab for blood work. Upstairs for chemo. They're the ones saying 'hi' to the nurses and doctors who've become their friends.

You can tell the people on their first visit just as easily. They have that lost look of new students on the first day of school -- not sure where anything is or what they're supposed to do. The regulars have gotten past that deer-in-the-headlights look. Their faces show determination more than anything else.

I noticed one man in the lobby. He was wearing his bathrobe and he didn't seem concerned at all. I saw a young woman frantically looking for someone. I assumed they were father and daughter. When they found each other, they hugged. The young woman held on tightly. It was a very private moment... in a very public place.

Would they have done that before the man got cancer? Would they even have hugged, except on rare occasions?

I think one of the things cancer does is break down the walls of our pride. A doctor told me early on that cancer meant many people would want to talk about things I definitely didn't want to talk about. He was right. I have to talk about my body to strangers. I have to talk to my doctors about my greatest fears. I have to talk about my death. But it doesn't bother me anymore.

I don't worry as much about keeping up a facade, either. I have cried, more than I ever had before. I've been more open to friends and loved ones about how much they mean to me. Before I got sick, I would've been embarrassed to say some of those things out loud.

In the cancer wards, you see more physical displays of affection. A touch, a hand on the shoulder, some gesture meant to reassure or just let the other person know they're not alone. Cancer teaches that worrying what other people will think and being discreet is something we don't have time for.

What has happened, I think, is that we've all been humbled. Cancer has freed us to do the things we knew we should be doing all along.

I don't think I'll ever forget the image of that man in the bathrobe and that young woman holding on to each other so tightly in the midst of a crowd. For me, that's life as it should be lived.

it's 3:45am. Why am I posting at 3:45am? heck, why am I AWAKE at 3:45am?

Saul, our "medically delicate" child (that's the phrase used by the special daycare center) pushed his mentally delicate father to the edge. But just to the edge. Not over.

Usually he is out for his 3am feeding. My alarm jolts me from my sleep at 2:52am every morning. I crawl out of bed, focused on the plan. "The plan is sound. Do not deviate from the plan."

(you may read past the plan, that's where it gets fun)

I prep everything.
Turn on kitchen light
Measure water into the bottle warmer.
Pull bottle out of fridge, put in warmer, but do not turn on.
Pour filtered water into 10ml syringe for flushing tube.
Take 60ml syringe off drying rack
Turn off Kitchen light
60ML Syringe? put in holder on couch.
Put 10ml syringe of water on coffee table.
Go to bathroom myself. Wash hands afterward
Leave light bathroom light on. It provides enough light to change diapers by
Get Baby - from co-sleeper or Sara's bed
Transport baby to nursery and day bed
Unwrap baby
Move baby to changing table
Unsnap sleeper or clothing
Remove wet diaper. (or poopy diaper)
Use baby wipes to thoroughly clean bottom
Use A&D or Desetin grease on baby butt
Put on new diaper
Clean hands on baby wipe
Drop old diaper and baby wipes into diaper thing
Re-snap outfit if clean. If dirty, replace outfit
transport baby to day bed and blanket
Re-wrap blanket
Pick up baby
Walk to den.
Turn off bathroom light on the way
Turn den lights on low low low
Put baby on couch
Hook tube up to syringe
(if midnight, add 1ml PolyViSol from dropper)
Pour 60ml milk in syringe
Lay next to baby, repetitively sing "ahhh ahhh baby" so he sleeps
As syringe drains, pour more milk in, till all milk is in baby.
Disconnect 60ml syringe
Connect 10ml syringe
Gently and slowly flush tube with 5 - 7 ml filtered water
Sit up
Disconnect 10 ml syringe
Gather all syringes, bottles, etc, carry to kitchen sink
Turn on kitchen sink light
Clean all materials with warm soapy water.
Place on drying rack
Turn off kitchen sink light
Record qty of milk, meds (if neccesary), poo size
Pick up baby
Walk to Sara's room, turn off light on the way
Put baby in co sleeper or bed, as Sara requests.
Go back to bed, reset alarm clock for next interval

The Plan is Sound! Do not Deviate from the Plan!

Except for this morning.

While changing, he had very wet diaper. And woke up a little. This was an indication

when changing him? My stupid alarm clock goes off again. If I do not set the slider switch just the right way, it thinks it is in snooze mode. Bastard clock.

Hooked up to tube, 35ml in, he lets the most awful wet fart. I know it is not a fart. I know he just filled his diaper with nasty toxic baby poo. Not a normal poo, but the kind that only shoots out of demon possessed hell-children.

Can I continue to gravage milk into him? (that's the fancy term for gravity feed)

No, the smell creeps out of the blankets, and is overpowering.

I pour the remaining milk from the tube back into the bottle., Disconnect the tube, and transport him to changing table.

He is smiling, and laughing. the laugh of a mad child. A child, who, if he ate, would want raw flesh!

unwrap blanket, unsnap sleeper, and I am hit by 10x the smell.

Remove diaper to find toxic waste dump that rivals three mile island.

5 babywipes later, he is clean. He tries to kick is feet into it, but I know that trick.

New diaper.

re-snap sleeper, re wrap blanket, make ready to transport back to couch.... and? gurgle

gurgle gurgle. GACK! arf. arf. woof, Ruth! Ralph! Chuck! arf woof!

while spinning his head a full 360, he manages to power barf on me, on his clothes, blanket, wall, bookcase, changing table and me again.

then he starts giggling. in a maniacal way.

So off comes the sweatshirt. Now I am cold.

And off comes the blanket, jumper, undershirt, socks

off comes the changing table cover.

I put everything into the laundry pail we keep in his room. Wow, he managed to get barf in there too!

So I clean everything up. first clean Tarzan, and get him re-dressed. We do not want him getting cold. Even though it may seem he is internally warmed by the fires of Hades, he is just a baby, and this is normal. So we want him clean and warm.

He then watches me clean everything else. With a bright smile on his face. Kicking and flailing his arms in a horribly cute manner.

I clean. I clean the floor, I clean the walls, I clean the bookcase, I clean it all.

Then I get a shirt, cause I am very cold.

Re-wrapped, back to the couch, hook tube up, pour in more milk. he is smiling and happy.

All dirty clothes out to laundry, with rest of the white load, we have a full load, so I start the laundry going. Dried puke is icky, so we want to clean it as time permits.

All the while checking on him, he is smiling and fine.

I grab 35ml more milk from the fridge, as he barfed up the first 35.

turn down lights, lay by kid, pour in more milk, rock him and sing "ahh ahh baby" till he is sleeping.

All milk is in. He is snoring. All is quiet and calm. Clean bottles, record data, take him to Sara.

and it is 3:45am. so I write this up. I am keyed. I am hyper, I cannot get back to sleep easily. So I have rings under my eyes, I am tired all day, but? when he smiles? it all seems worth it.

Do not deviate from the plan. The Plan is Sound!

Friday, November 24, 2006

This little cowboy is tired.

We went to Tia Julia's for Thanksgiving last night. Tarzan decided he wanted to dress up as a cowpoke. However, he got all tired out putting on is duds? That he took a snooze.

Till we got to Thanksgiving, when he woke up and had lots to say and comment on.

I hope everyone else got enough yummy vittles, and was thankful for the wonderful people in their lives. I know we are.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Okay, this is from out of the blue, and please, Mom, do not worry, I am quite alright.

I just read an interview with Robert Pirsig, Author of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance". Some college prof of mine had us read it in his class. At the time? I rode motorcycles whenever I could beg, borrow or steal one from a pal of mine.

I read the book, and I understood the guy was looking for a truth, but I did not really "get" it.

A few years later I realized, everybody has one great passion in their life. It may be cooking, or sailing, knitting, playing pool, or collecting nuts and bolts.

Well, mine is motorcycles. I love riding, working on, thinking about, etc.

And it is not just the friends, the destination, the work, no, it is the entire experience.

In 2001 I bought the Harley. Totally against everything my moto-mentor was about. It was big and inefficient. Clunky, loud and harsh. But when I rode it? I felt good. Really good.

I joked that the vibration of it stirred up all the chemicals in my brain, and helped me settle down. It quieted all the voices in my head. (yes, I have voices in my head)

{Side note: my old roommate Bill used to say "I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to quiet the voices in my head"}

The problem with being an intelligent human is your brain is always functioning. You are always thinking about solving problems, or what to have for lunch, or a conversation that happened 17 years ago. When you ride, you must pay 100% attention to the riding. Or you will have an accident, and bad things will happen.

Riding the Harley helped me sum up what riding did for me. It stirs up my brain chemistry, and allows me to calm down enough to sort it all out for a while. It gives me a calm, relaxed state.

I knew something like this was going on. On many of the other bikes I have owned. Yamaha RD400's, GT185 Suzukis, Yamaha YSR50s, Honda 175s, BSA 250, Triumph 650, Turbocharged Suzuki GSXR 1300s, Suzuki bandit 600 from Austin to San Jose, 1385cc Harley Sportster, Honda 996, Ducati 900 Monster, Lately? Briggs & Stratton 3.5hp mini-bikes. Big or small, they all had the same effect. When I was riding it, I felt good.

(old list I posted?)

Over the past few months, I have been limiting my riding to Sunday mornings in the dirt. Well, the court issue is now settled (sorry, no details, let's just say I am not going to have a 3point misdemeanor on my record, Yay Attorney Dave!)

So I took the Enfield Bullet out for a spin. 9 horsepower. It will not go fast. It will not do much other than get you from here to there. But it felt wonderful to ride. Liberating.

And I realized what Pirsig was after. The calm release a motorcycle gives your brain, heart and soul. It silences the voices, it comforts the heart, and it gets you from here to there.

Most of my friends ride motorcycles. I wonder if they experience the same thing.

I can't wait for Sunday.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I just got a bad case of the "I want"s

Micro car kit

December 2nd is Sara's Birthday.

People have been asking me what she wants. My best pointer is her Amazon Wish List.

I'll try to figure out party arrangements soon.

Yesterday was Saul's first pilot shot at Daycare. It seemed to go well, he came back in one piece, was tired, and smiley. Ya always hear how it is more traumatic for mom that kid? I do not know, Sara would need to comment here. Tia Julia came over last night, and helped out with Tarzan. She is wonderful.

Monday, November 20, 2006

slow to post, things fall through the cracks...

Mom in a schmancy Dress for a Fancy Soiree

This just in from our intrepid Canadian Correspondent.

Too good to pass up

Adventurous...................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...........................No breasts.
Average looking.............Moooo.
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure.........On medication.
Free spirit........................Junkie.
Friendship first................Former slut.
New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned..................No BJs.
Outgoing.........................Loud and Embarrassing.
Voluptuous......................Very Fat.
Large frame.....................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..............Stalker.

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.

apparently, smiling is good!

Friday, November 17, 2006

cool Hondells music video

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Put Sara's folks on a plane this morning. Sad to see them go.

Tarzan weighed 11+ lbs at the doc yesterday, so that is GREAT news.

Her folks bought us a digital video camera, so we can take and make movies. Woo hoo!

All good stuff.

In Other news, Police with tazers run rampant.

UCLA student tazered in the library.

Football player Tazered in Houston.

Heck, I ought to invent a tazer-proof shield, it would probably sell

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ummm, why are people rude to stewardesses? These people need assistance

and guidance! :)

Tarzan has found a disturbing new habit. If he does not like his food, he will gak and spit till the barfs. We'll work on him.

midnight was a pee festival. When I pick him up to feed him, I automatically change him. Then I re-wrapped him, put him on the couch to feed, and? he peed. Overflowing diaper.

So I change him again, and as I am re-wrapping him? He peed again. Overflowing diaper.

So I unwrap him, change him again, and as he is finally re-wrapped? He PEED AGAIN. and was giggling.

Dry. There is no more. clean, diaper, wrap, get him out to feed, and he falls fast asleep. Fortunately, with an angelic smile. reminding me not to be frustrated.

We decided to reinstate the 3am feeding, to get calories in. The plan is to back off 6am, and just use it for rice cereal.

So what happens at 3am? a totally full poopy diaper, and he is laughing his keester off.

My child is already a troublemaking hooligan, and I love him.

still waiting for 9am feeding news

Monday, November 13, 2006

2 interesting photos.

First, if you ever worked a help desk, this makes sense.

second, David Carpenter, member of God's Bats MC Club, giving a go. From David:
"Here is a picture of me on my 175 from 1968 taken in Torreon, Mexico. Note the high-tech protective gear worn by riders in the old days."

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Friday night Sara's mom cooked, Mike & Evie & Steve came over, we had big dinner. it's nice to be around family.

this morning, I put a new chain & sprockets on Sara's BMW.

carrots are yummy, peas, apparently, are not.

he was up and charming all day, but got tired, and 6pm was a struggle.

Sara & her folks went to Original Joes for dinner, I stayed here, to feed and watch the kid.

oh, video, Julia tickling Saul till he flips out.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

carrots! He ate Carrots!

Sara was out having pancakes with her folks, so I fed him carrots.

what's this just now?

Well, okay, I'll eat it, and spit it on your clothes!

NO, they were carrots, but he looks likkered up, huh?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

no update in too long. I have been insane

Doctors: Upper GI results? Normal

Parents: Sara's folks are here, and her mom is a champion at getting Saul to eat from the bottle.

Elections: Glad to see people went out and voted. for change.

Pee Mail: Colin sent me this, it makes me laugh

Mini Bike Shananigans? Traded Murray for Bonanza. Got black hybrid running, don't like it, will focus on Bonanza

Sidecar: Interior installed. Waiting to hear from Don about the Bike & Frame

Work: Cisco hit 25, a bunch of my sell options were triggered. YAY.

Sad: My pal Rebecca's grandfather passed. he was a nice guy

Sad: My Aunt's husband passed, he was a nice guy

Happy? Did you see the pee mail thing?

Dale & Joan had us all over for dinner last weekend, I am wiaitng for the photos, it was brilliant, Dale outdid himself

nothing else.

Pee Mail

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Tia Julia provides the soundtrack

we had takeout chinese on Saturday. the boy was being irritable, and wanted to be held. I wanted Sara to eat, so I held him while I ate.

I should note, if he would cooperate with the sling, it would be easier, but lately, he is not so happy with the sling.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

and now, as they say, time for something completely different

Lamborghini Murcielago

Lamborghini Gallardo

Ferrari F430 Spyder

Ferrari Stradale

Lotus Elise

AND Lotus Elise Sport (no pic)

Porsche GT3 A

I got to drive these cars yesterday at a trackday

Cars that I cannot even afford the wheels.

More photos of me coming up


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