Friday, July 30, 2004

Foamy the Squirrel.
Delicious Social Commentary from obviously rabid roadkill
Small, Medium, Large is the one to see.

Sorry, I have nothing else cool today.

Spent last night plotting a new transport vehicle. Looks like the Dodge Sprinter is it. I cannot stand the thought of a big ass Ford Truck. But the motorcycles need to get to the track, and I need to carry the gear, the data, etc...

Rebadged Mecedes Sprinter from Europe? Turbo Diesel motor? AC? multi crazy huge delivery van that will go 100mph at 32mpg, and fit into a standard parking spot, same wheelbase and price as F-150, better mileage and much more form factor.

Oh hubba hubba! Forget the sportscar, been there, done that, got the T shirt, wore it out, gave it to goodwill.

Sprinter. It's the next wave.

i'm thinkin matte silver with ground effects & neon. Or maybe a honkin red stripe and wing on top like Mr. T from the A-Team.

and interior?

I'll do my own conversion, but a love pad on wheels like this?

check the bedroom shot! insane-o with a satelite uplink? I will be most comfy and online at the track, camping, or anywhere we go.

I just need to talk to Joe and see if the prices the dealer is giving me are good, and talk to my bank, and my insurance lady

Thursday, July 29, 2004

okay, this is total BS. Ancient Jewish Mysticism, brought to you by Target? $25 for a bit of string?

Last night was great. I left work on the Bullet, and rode north to my pal Robert's place for dinner. He got tired of riding at the last race, but should have waited till he got into the pits to get off his bike. hurt his ankle and knee, but is getting better.

We went for dinner at "Taste of India" in Redwood City. And had some yummy Lemon Paneer.

Robert is one of those super intelligent people, who asks questions that make you have to think, sometimes to the point of having a headache. We had a wonderful discussion, that lead me to consider many things. Which I will not discuss here. But it was all good.

So I left his place, and was headed south. From Redwood City to my house is far. VERY far. Hwy 280 has 'grooved' pavement. on a small motorcycle, with ribbed tired, this is miserable.

So I went straight on Hwy 84, all the way up to Alice's Restaurant, where I stopped to call my mom, and wish her a late birthday.

Then down Skyline drive to Hwy 9.

Well, the Bullet is not a good hillclimber, so it was slow going for a while. And once we got to 9, all the maroons who ride bicycles had put them on top of their minivans and honda civics, and were slowly making their way down the hill.

it took for-EVER

but was still fun to ride. I love riding the bullet. Slow and steady, it is able.

Got home, got settled, and Sara and I went out on rollerskates again. I loosened the trucks, and tied the laces looser, and tonight was easier than last night. But still hurt. I am so out of shape, and have no sense of balance.

We'll keep working on it. Next step, insoles or arch supports for the skates.


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I was chatting with my pal Larissa. She just bought a new condo, and needs to take off work early, and start painting it. So I suggested she split early, and go buy some paint.

But not finger paint
and not body paint

then I wondered about bodypainting, and found this link. Then some silly conversation occurred

cstatman: I like the zebra, but I think it is a lot of time spent, for silly effect
larissa: hahaha, um yea
cstatman: and, it is probably a bad idea to run around nekkid
larissa: like that'd stop u :P
cstatman: yeah, great, people would point and shout....
cstatman: "look, that's the FATTEST Zebra I have EVER seen!"

now that I look closer at that site, they all seem to be attractive female models, I do not see any short fat guys, hmmm.

maybe, just maybe, I could be in on the ground floor of a new trend
no, not a zebra, but a hippopotamus or a rhinocerous

so she pipes in: walrus is good

yeah. they are roly-poly and probably like peanut M&Ms

last night I did go roller skating with Sara. well, I TRIED to go roller skating with Sara we went to the end of the block, the schoolyard, and back my shins and ankles were killing me. it is gonna take some building up and learning balance again

then maybe I can be a bodypainted roly-poly roller-skating walrus

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

so i'm sitting around the office, wishing I had some Orangina, and I decide to think villianous thoughts.

What Type of Villain are You?

then I thought about the Anti-Villains. Vegetarians. And, of course, Ninjas.

the house is great, but wouldn't it be cool to have an evil Lair?

well, I've just realized I missed lunch, I am hungry and cranky, and I want to think of more pleasant things.

my mind is blank

Monday, July 26, 2004

Yesterday was my 40th. many friends came over, we had Rebecca's cupcakes, we had Mauro's cake, Chris' guacamole, Holly's brownies, Sara's melon, Greg & Cindy's cookies, we had Orangina, we had such a sugar rish it was spectacular. I had a damn fun time. The battery on my phone died, and I gave up answering calls, it was great.

Joe's wife Natalie has been keeping a web log, and I've really been enjoying reading it. She chronicles the amazing daily life of raising brilliant kids. YAY.

My pal Beth just stopped in and dropped off balloons, hat and most hilarious book, yay! (no, she has a wonderful new boyfriend, and is in no way implying "I" am the target of anyone's lusts) But the book is hilarious.

I closed the door of my office, and have been hiding out. It's a good day.

Oh, and mom and dad are buying me a gun safe for the birthday. I need to pick one out, and will no longer have all those weapons tossed about the house.

Sara got me some bangin rollerskates, so we can start skating together. My mission today is to find some pads.

All's well.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

40. woke up this morning feeling older, but not wiser.

Folks will be dropping in and out between 2:30 - 6, it will be great to see friends.


I have not been getitng to my phone in time, sorry if I missed calls, will try returning them shortly.

Why can't the world bank and international monetary fund build a better model of financial and economic trend analysys?

this is what is on my mind at the moment. That, and if I am 40, Christie Brinkley must be much older. Yet, oddly, she is still better looking than me. I gotta start excercising.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

This just in from my pal the incredible Joe Hemmer, who sold me the "thing" a joke.

no other news, just got back from Flames for my free birthday cake, a princess cake (sadly, not listed on their web page), 2 layers vanilla cake, 2 layers creme, 1 layer raspberry, 1 more layer cream, frosted in a thick coat of green marzipan.

oh god, I need a cigarette, i think it was religious.

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful!

Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door, they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And, I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"NO KIDDING?. Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Thursday, July 22, 2004


cannot breathe


The amazing pop culture diva Xeni Jardin from Boing Boing linked to my blog, and now I am afraid to post anything, as it may suck, then people will poke me with sticks. I'll put up this sacrificial sucky post, then get over my performance anxiety, and get back to gettin on.

Oh, and I need someone (no, not you mom) to edit my damn book/blog about ball cancer for boys, so we can start counting the money.

that's all that's on my mind at the moment. That, and why I get all the Penis Enlargement Spam. And when will Alex at Fastline have the motorcycle finished, so I can pop the super Moto skips on it, and get some tickets.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Oh great googley moogley. I was surfing past Boing Boing, one of my fave web pages, and I tripped over the Virginity Rules entry, and was immediately horrified. Abstinence

no no no, how about "listen up you morons, TALK to your children, explain life to them, so they do not make stupid choices and end up in a trailer home like you did"

Oh, it was gonna get worse.
"East Texas Abstinence Coalition" these bastards are getting funding from the state! $772,224 to be exact. Someone is gonna get rich from this. BASTARDS

Yep, I knew it. They were from my hometown. Yes, sadly, I grew up in Longview, Texas. in 1982 the Chamber of Commerce had bumper stickers reading "Lucky Me, I live in Longview"

I made knockoffs reading "Lucky Me, I got the HELL OUT of Longview" Sold enough to buy tons of booze and smokes. (It was '82, I was a young college kid)

Abstinence is miserable, education is laudable, well done teen age sex is braggable. (if both parties are consenting teens)

Okay, I am rambling. Back to the point. There is absolutely, positively NOTHING to do in Longview Texas. Teenage sex is the whole point of life there. Hell, Longview is more boring that my current resides, Silicon Valley.

Instead of preaching an outdated theme, these holy rolling abusers of outdated flash interfaces should be educating kids and handing out condoms.

Well, that's my thought at least.

it's like beating a dead horse, but it needs to be said again and again.

vote for the candidate with the sluttiest daughter. Political news you can use, from

Years ago, I voted for Clinton. Not for politics, not for party, but for an interview in Penthouse (Dec 1992). Apparently they interviewed Gennifer Flowers a gal who may or may not have had touch with reality. She claimed to have a 12 year affair with Clinton. She now runs a topless joint in New Orleans, and as I recall, the photos were not so amazing.

Anyhow, in this interview, in HUGE drop caps pull quote, she said "Bill Clinton eats Pu&&y like a champ!" and at that very moment, I knew my campaign choice. George Bush Senior, no, Barb would never EVER say that. H. Ross Perot? Well, he has those big ears, look like handholds to me, but Margot was too much the lady to say such a thing about him.

So Bill Clinton it was. I knew Bush was involved with CIA, and I did not want to see him with one hand on "the button" the other under his desk doing bad things to himself. I wanted a president to sit back in the oval office, with both hands on the back of a kneeling intern's head, while thinking "World Peace"

I told this to all my pals, and pulled the lever for Bill. Had no Eartly idea it would really go down that way.

Yep, Penthouse Magazine and Gennifer Flowers.

I have no idea where to look for insipration in this election, but that dress Kerry's stepdaughter is wearing is making me think "World Peace"

.... oy, and yes, I did pull down my reports from the Europe trip.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

$552.76 That's the amount I just drafted out of my bank account to pay for a fuckup with Cisco's internal Travel office for my last work trip. Yep. there goes my birthday present to myself. whoop-a-dee-doo.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

As Sara and I are getting ready to leave for France, I realize, it is close to my Birthday, and I will do what I want to. Do what I want to

On July 25, 1964, my mom delivered me in the same hospital Karen Silkwood was born in. Green eyed, brown haired, north east Texan son of the piney woods, I came out screaming and have not stopped.

Since I am gonna be overseas for a few weeks, and since I AM turning FORTY,and since I kinda had a crapp-o birthday last year (and found out I had the cancer 2 days later) I got all excited and made a birthday list.

No, you don't gotta buy me nothin, but I thought it would be fun to make. Kinda like a kid.

Birthday List:

Anything from my amazon wish list

coleman 54 qt cooler

coleman lantern case

Garmin 60C gps accessories
windshield mount $35

remote antenna $100

Mapsource NA Unlock

Gun safe
1, 2 or 3


Exhaust for Bullet



LL Bean Shirt
shirt in large
in Navy/Lapis, size X-large
shirt large chambray blue
travel blazer, 44 reg, dark khaki,

Banana Republic Cargo Blazer large

Bayou Magic: Gumbo, A-2-fAY or Sweatshirt. (be a magician in your kitchen!)

R.M. Quiggs Yellow Rice Mix – twelve 10-ounce packages

Harbor Freight Tools:
regulator drill bits hose reel

EZ-UP Express II
details here

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