Tuesday, August 26, 2003

ARGGG DAMNED SPERM BANK BADNESS

Okay, I have to call a fertility clinic to freeze my semen and store it.

Just thinking aobut and writing this makes this North East Texas Boy queasy.

BUT the chemo MAY make me sterile, and if I EVER wanna have kids, this is the way to do it.

So Dr. Andonian gave me the name of a sperm bank, Fertility Physician's Institute (408) 356-5000

and I called them today.

And it was the WORST 20 minutes of my life. Ya know how I keep saying I like it when I feel comfortable talking to my doctors, and how the staff is good, and all that. Well, these guys are the exact polar opposite of everything experienced so far.

I felt HORRIBLE when I got off the phone with them, I wanted to cry. I was sad, depressed and angry.

First, a receptionist with attitude. What do you WANT? Why isn't your DOCTOR call-ING? hold puh-leze!

Second, a technician. What is your name, who referred you? how is your name spelled? hold please.

Third, the lab manager. What is your name? Who referred you? Why are you calling?

ME: I am calling because I want to bank sperm before I have chemotherapy for my cancer. My doctor suggested I phone your company. What do I need to do to make this happen.

LM: have you had "THE blood work, you know" "And do you have written doctor's orders?"

ME: "No, I do not know, or have orders, do I need to get something?"

LM: "Well, without doctor's orders, we cannot do anything."

ME: "I will GET doctor's orders, on my way to see you. What do I need?"

LM: You need these tests:
RPR
Hepatitis B Surface Anogen
Hepatitis C Antibodies
HIV 1 & 2
HTLV 1 & 2

AND written orders from your doctor.

ME: "okay, I can do this, and bring it to your clinic. When?"

LM: "Thursday between 1 and 2, but not after 2"

Me: "Ok"

LM: "Now you know, the blood tests are gonna cost about $500, then the initial Sperm freezing is an additional $450. Plus $350/year contract you need to sign to store it. We do NOT take insurance, you will need to bring money. We cannot do anything without Doctor's orders"


And now I am scared. We are still paying for BOTH houses, the condo is still for sale. I am dipping hard into my savings for this, and here is more money. But if I want a kid, I gotta do this. So what is money. But why Is she so damned snotty?

Is there another place to do this?

So I call Dr. Andonian's office, and speak to Sharon, in the front. She writes down all these things, and will get a letter form Dr. Andonian. But she says it is irregular, and that does not sound right. But come in tomorrow morning, we will have a letter.


Then I hang up, go backinto my room, lay down in the GODDAMN sweltering heat, and just cry.

I have CANCER! It is cureable, but I am SICK. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE BEING ASSHOLES?

I cannot rest, so I look on the internet for sperm banks in San Jose. I am tired and hot and frustrated. I cannot find a goddamn thing. I am screwed.

I should have asked for Dr. Andonian, but you need to understand, my brain is not working quite at 105MPH how it usually does.

I feel horrible and helpless and sick.


I will solve this tomorrow. I will go to his office to get the letter, and try to find out if there is a better place to store my sperm. Cause I do not want to do business with these BASTARDS.


C



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