Saturday, September 20, 2003

the chemo has caught up with me. they SAID it would be really bad on Saturday, and I had no idea. I have often heard the phrase "I was not comfortable in my own skin" but never really understood it. This is a million times worse than being trapped out in a parking lot on a hot Texas afternoon.

I have no energy, and it feels like my entire body is on fire. It seems I can hear everything very well, and just conversation makes me nauseous. When I move in the bed, I can feel the blood shifting inside my body, and it hurts. Squirrels chattering in the backyard sound like machine gun fire.

It has been so hot outside, that all I can do is lay in the house with the air conditioner on, and rest.


Sara's folks sent me the biggest card I have ever seen, that was nice. And my pal Chris Null sent me a book through Amazon, he must have seen a wish list or something. Good guy. Oh, and my mom sent me some MandelBrot, which is kinda like jewish Biscotti. but it hurts to try to eat anything.

I am pretty sure this is the effects of all the chemo, without the anti-nausea, anti-pain, and the doc did tell me my blood cells will start breaking down over the next 2 weeks. I do not want to eat, I just want to lay around, and I want it to not be so damn hot.

Sara, by the way, is being a complete wonderful princess in putting up with me. Heck, even I do not want to put up with me.

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