Tuesday, September 09, 2003

I had to wake up early, in order to make it out to Palo Alto for a deposit. 6:45. I know, sounds like normal to late, but for me, it has become early. Fatigue all day long as a result. Made it to Palo Alto at 8:27, for my 8:30 appointment. Traffic stunk. Just stunk.

Did what was required, no small talk, and off to work. I did not even fantasize about 1964 305 Honda Superhawks today. I was too tired. Just business. then thought, 'what if Sara absolutely does not want to have kids. damn, I have wasted time."

Work: The goal today was to make lists of tasks and goals, set timelines, and get everything ready at work, you know, just in case I cannot make it in all the time. Spent the morning strategizing, finalized around noon. All I wanted to do was go the heck home.

Had lunch with co worker. THEN went home.

and slept the entire afternoon away. Just fatigued.

Today is my sister's birthday. My good pal Werner took flowers & goodies to her office. YAY! Remote control gifts and good thoughts from freinds. YAY! Tonight they will all be going to the Texas Chili Parlor for birthday mayhem. YAY.

I slept more.

Many friends have contacted me about providing rides & help. This is great. I keep meaning to email folks too, who offered doctorial assistance. Okay, I am scrambled, but will try to get it all out so it makes sense.

Rides. I will do chemo on Monday, begging Sara to pick me up with a cell call. Then I will know how bad it is, and what time it is. Once I determine all this, I will try to set up some kind of schedule, and find out when I may need rides. and NOT LIKE moving, I WILL call on people to help me, and set schedules for the weeks I am "on"

Doctors: I am VERY satisfied with the physicians I have working for me. They have explained everything. Basically, I have cancer, it is 98% survivable. I just have to go through the treatments. TC is like the ingrown toenail of cancer. Every body knows how to fix it. YAY! Chemo. boo!

Food: I will break food down into three basic food groups. Soft, inedible and Hard. Inedible is stuff that reacts so badly with the meds, that I cannot push it down. Soft goes down. Hard goes down, but hurts coming up. There is no nutrition program during this, I just try to keep anything in that I can.

That's about all I got. I am very tired, still. But trying to keep on the positive side. I WILL be able to fit in my custom "Texas" leathers when all this is done....

Ya know what? I am scared. shhhh don't tell anyone.

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