Tuesday, October 21, 2003

My pal Elaine has possibly solved the cat pee problem. With this amazing product.
http://www.scatmat.com/Products/Scarecrow/overview.asp

That goshdarn cat pisses on the bushes outside my window every 4 hours. I want him in FEAR! I want a little cat shit trail leading all the way back to his yard. Fear. fear good. cat piss bad. cat piss smell = instant vomit for me.

Orchard Supply Hardware on Branham did not have them. So the boy at Branham called the boy at Cottle and said put 2 aside for Charles. (picking up one for Elaine too.)

I went to get them, ask goofy teen boy, "Escobar called from the other store, you have 2 scarecrows on hold for me" he points at 2 Halloween scarecrows

“Now son, I am bald, sweating, have no eyebrows, not looking happy, the heat is not good to me, and I am nauseous cause I missed my 2:30 chemotherapy vomit,” I look at boy and say "do I LOOK like I want some straw dolls to you? TWO $70 devices to scare the livin bejeezuz out of wayward pissing cats. PRONTO!”

“ yessir, here they are, sorry for any misunderstanding”

Man, I am in no mood for ass-hats. This afternoon when JoJo comes to mark his territory, with his foul piss he is in for a BIG goddamn surprise.

Hmm. how do I glue FANGS to this thing? Can I make it squirt sulfuric acid?

$70 bucks worth of no more goddamn CAT , without having to roast the fucker and make poor little old neighbor lady sad.

Assembly feels like the part of the movie where they build all the cool guns they are gonna kill the bad guys with. ohhhh, the barrel is attached, the battery test fires perfectly. sticker time. the eyebrows make it look really angry

time to go adjust sensitivity and test fire

Brief Interlude.

oh, that was horrible, but in place now. I am over heated, and passed out twice. The previous owners had lantana bushes at base of tree. Now Sara cut out a lot of that, on top, but Lantana has LOTS of roots.

Too many roots for the mighty Scarecrow's plastic foot to pierce, however, there was 1/2 of a T-post sticking up too. so if I pull the T-post, I can put the mighty scarecrow in there. Do you know how deep you are supposed to drive a t-post? 3 inches PAST the T flange. Do you know how deep THEY buried the T Post? 4 feet with lantana root all around it and only 3 inches sticking up.

Think! Alternatives? No, NOT enough to ziptie the scarecrow to.

oh no, I am a TEXAN damnit!

you know that goofy black thing on the front bumper of my truck?

it is a Hi-Lift Jack

with that, and some trucker's chain, you CAN pull a T Post out of the damn ground, it takes longer when there are 4 FEET of post in the ground.

post is removed
i got overheated a lot, and had to stop and drink water, which is good
and I only passed out 2 times, but that was from the water I think

so, post ... OUT!
ground … smoothed
scarecrow .. IN

adjusted

working

waiting now for cat.

all I need to hear is one Squirt-MEOWWWW and it will be worth every bit of it.

but right now, I am so drained, I can barely type.


Cancer sucks the energy and the life out of me. I had to do this, I HAD to be human, but now I have to rest. I am able to eat a little, and drinking, and most food has been staying down. So now, a little nap, till I hear it. Squirt! MEOWWWW!

And I’ll sleep the sleep of the just.

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