Friday, December 05, 2003

Argh, same as yesterday. But with a twist. I tossed bile this morning, and was feeling rather flat. Sat around doing a whole bunch of nothing, resting, sipping water, that stuff. Then at about 1pm, i tossed again. Only this time, it came with a fierce case of the shakes.

Uncontrollable shivering. that's something new.

So I ate some corn dogs, just to get soft food into me, and forced in about 1/2 bottle of safeway brand Gatorade. Just forced it down, like frat boys around a beer keg. I know I need the fluid. But still cannot stop shaking.

Turned up the heat in the house, and I am sitting next to the futon, so I am upright, and have a big mexican blanket wrapped all around me and the laptop. Less like a mummy, more like a tent. The shakes are getting less, but I noticed my room smells like feet. Well, maybe feet and butts. I am not sure. The window is open a little, and it does not smell like cat pee, yet, so it my just be a musty smell from outside. It did rain last night.

I keep telling myself I am getting better, but it sure does not FEEL like I am getting better.

And energy? Forget about it. I have none.

Yesterday afternoon I went out into the garage and sat on the Harley. Just sort of to pretend I was going for a ride. Not really starting the bike or anything, just sitting. And I got tired.

Hopefully in a few more days I will start to build energy, and start to head out of the chemo fog. Till then, I am very close to the house, and quiet.

I thought about going out to the garage today and sitting on Sara's bike, you know, to pretend I was going on a ride, but FAST. :D I just do ont have the energy at the moment. More resting.



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