Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Just picked up the goo I have to drink tomorrow from the hospital. It is so nasty, I can smell it through the plastic jug it comes in. So the smell makes me nauseous, great. Instructions are to drink 1 glass before bed tonight, then a series in the morning. Wake at 5:30 for 2 glasses, then repeat 2 glasses at 6:30 and 2 more glasses at 7:30.

Will need to leave house at 7:30 to make it to hospital by 8:15 am check in time.

Instructions and past experience tell me drinking this goo causes extreme diarreah.

I ask the lab tech, "how do I get from house to here by 8:15 in rush hour traffic, with extreme diarreah?"

no answer

I ask the lab tech, "since I have nausea from chemo, what happens if I barf all this stuff up?"

no answer

I ask the lab tech, "since I've already barfed in the CT scan machine, are there any special arrangements?"

no answer

I give up asking the lab tech things, she is too busy. I make mental plans, as I drive home.

I'll stop eating tonight (easy enough, I still do not have much appetite) I will drink glass #1 of goo tonight, hope for the best, re-commence tomorrow morning, and hopefully clear everything out. However, just in case, I will put a roll of toilet paper in my truck for the drive tomorrow morning.

I've been poked, prodded, bled, observed, barfed, surgeried, chemoed and all sorts of other horrendous things over the past few months. If I have to stop and poop in the median, it is just NOT an issue. Maybe the folks commuting to work on 280 and 880 north tomorrow morning will have a story to tell at the water cooler: "So there I was, commuting in today, and this totally bald man was pooping in the median, then there was a 15 car pile up........"

those cats better scan me up right tomorrow morning.

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