Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Strategy SUCCESSFUL!

I left early, there was traffic, but not enough to delay things, I arrived at the hospital at 6:55am, with no unscheduled, uncomfortable, un-sanitary pit stops along the way! Filed my check-in papers, and at 7am sharp. the poop-fest was on. At the hospital, in the correct facility, in a proper manner. Yay. I drank more nasty goo right after, and had to 'go' every 10 minutes, exactly 10, not 9, not 11, every 10 minutes.

The CT scanning lab opened at 7:30, and I was able to sit in that waiting room, away from the screaming, fighting, running, out-of-control children that are always in every hospital waiting room.

Drank the last of my goo at 7:45, continued my 10 minute-ly 'constitutionals' until the lab techs got me into the CT scanner EARLY at 8. YAY!

To be a patient getting CT scanned, a few things must happen. First, you drink the goo. Then you wait a lot. Thirdly, you get nekkid, and have to wear the hospital gown that ties in the back. You lie on a cold table that's built into the giant doughnut shaped scanner. You get an I.V. drip of more contrast. The table slides back and forth into the doughnut, while scanning you. Then they pull the needle, slide you around and scan you some more. Finally, you are done, and get to walk back to the dressing room, change and depart.

Observations:
A) Goo makes you poo a lot. also makes you queasy
B) The receptionist is very cute. She sees your ass when you walk back in the gown. Doh!
C) Tech remembers you puked last scan, and "slows down" the I.V. Drip, to reduce chance of pukeability
D) While holding your breath for the sliding & scanning, I feel sick, but do NOT barf! YAY!
E) Walking back to change, cute receptionist girl sees naked butt again.

Well, I have no problem mooning people, AND I know the cutest girl in the world is at MY house, it is still kinda embarrasing. Driving home, however, is going to be tricky. I 'go' one more time at hospital, hoping pipes are clean, and the drive home will be as uneventful as the drive in.

Traffic is lousy, I stop by the old condo to pick up some mail still being delivered there. And continue the drive home on surface streets, not the freeway. I feel uneasy a few times, but not enough to justify a pit stop.

Last stoplight before the house, I pull up just as it turns red. I am bouncing in the truck, sort of, well, kind of like the "pee pee dance" but #2, and in traffic. I am thinking all the clenching thoughts I can. As the light turns green, I see a speeding car in the corner of my eye. The guy in the truck behind me sees it too, and is honking and pointing, trying to keep me from making a big mistake. We are all covered, we are all cool, we wait, the driver RUNS the red light, I wait for her to run it, then cross, and everyone continues on their way.

I made it home in time! YAY! Saw the cutest girl in the world, who has not left for work yet; took care of business, and am continuing, although not every 10 minutes. I will be glad when it stops, but I have safely made it there and back, no fouls were committed, and now I am really wore out. Rest, Rest,

on the 23rd, we find out what they saw today.

rest.

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