Monday, October 18, 2004

I just read this, it is hilarious. I will now try to find what they mean in used car ads,

BTW, the LLROL is for sale:
http://www.craigslist.org/sby/car/45973484.html


How to Read Personal Ads

WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish.........................49
Adventurer...............Slept with all your friends
Athletic......................No tits
Average looking........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.....................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.......Does a lot of Ecstasy
Emotionally Secure.....Medicated
Feminist.......................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit.....................Junkie
Friendship first.............Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.............................. Annoying
Gentle..........................Comatose
Good Listener............Borderline Autistic
New-Age...................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary position only, no BJ's
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing....................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................Sloppy drunk
Poet............................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..............Certified Bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...........Grossly Fat
Romantic.................Looks better by candle light
Social........................Been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray
Voluptuous.............Very Fat
Weight proportional w/height........Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate........ Stalker
Widow.........................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.........Old bat

MEN'S ADS

40-ish.................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic..............................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...............Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated...........................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........................Banging your sister
Friendship first...............As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun...................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...................Arrogant
Very good looking...........Dumb as a board
Honest..............................Pathological Liar
Huggable..........................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
In an open relationship.........married with children
Likes to cuddle.................Insecure mama's boy
Mature..............................Older than your father
Open-minded...................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit....................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet..................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive...........................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.................Gay
Spiritual............................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable...............................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful.......................Says "Excuse me" when he farts

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