Thursday, November 18, 2004

found this and wanted to share.

Used Motorcycle Buying Guide:

If the ad says…. it really means….


# MUST SELL… before it blows up.
# RUNS FINE… I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience.
# NEEDS SOME BODY WORK… was side-swiped by a Winnebago.
# WELL-MAINTAINED… I occasionally changed the oil.
# LOOKS LIKE NEW… just don't try to drive it anywhere.
# ALL ORIGINAL… I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced.
# LOADED WITH OPTIONS… each one more troublesome than the last.
# PROJECT BIKE… I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either.
# LOTS OF POTENTIAL… to drive you insane.
# NEEDS MINOR REPAIR… doesn't run.
# ENGINE QUIET... uses 90-weight oil
# PARTS BIKE... beyond repair.
# ROUGH CONDITION… too bad to lie about.
# IMMACULATE... recently washed.
# CONCOURS... recently waxed.
# NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL... needs engine.
# NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL... phone the junkyard.
# BURNS NO OIL... (it all leaks out).
# REBUILT ENGINE... cleaned the spark plugs.
# DRIVE IT AWAY... I live on a hill.
# DRIVE IT ANYWHERE... (within 10 miles).
# DESIRABLE CLASSIC... no one wants it.
# RARE CLASSIC... no one wanted it even when it was new.
# STORED 20 YEARS... (in a farmer's field).
# RAN WHEN STORED... won't start.
# NEVER APART... bolts too rounded to loosen.
# SOLID AS A ROCK... rusted solid
# RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES... won't start.
# RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES... won't stay running.
# OLDER RESTORATION... first owner washed it.
# GOOD INVESTMENT... can't be worth much less.
# NO TIME TO RESTORE IT... can't obtain parts.
# 95% COMPLETE... other 5% doesn't exist.
# CLEAN… homeless dude at 5th and Main peed on it.
# GOOD TRANSPORTATION… It's ugly as sin.
# ENGINE BLUEPRINTED… I don't know what it means either.
# EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE… It's slow.
# LOW MILES… the odometer was turned back.
# ONE OWNER… can't give it away.
# SURE TO APPRECIATE… that's why I'm selling it.
# . . .OR BEST OFFER… I'm guessing here.
# OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT... spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!"

Comments:
It's been 6 months and you haven't updated this damn thing. I'm getting sick of clicking the button to come here for no reason, write something new!
 
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