Thursday, July 21, 2005

Wanted: Umbrella Girl Posse
Team Fat BasTARD seeks Umbrella Girls for AFM Endurance race. Team Fat BasTARD is:
Greg Creech, Bad Matt Buck, Chris VanAndel, Jack Walshe, Charles Statman

Team Fat BasTARD will be running the American Federation of Motorcyclist's four hour endurance race Saturday August 13th at Infineon Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, and seeks an attractive female Umbrella Girl with almost no morals, and even less scruples.

Minimum Responsibilities:
Stand there and hold an umbrella.
Be photographed with the team and bike.
Wear something small, slinky and... Interesting. (not safe for work example of interesting)

Optional Responsibilities:
Make other teams envious and/or distracted.
Help out behind the pit wall with pit space and setup.
Help out with rider refreshments when they come off their shift.
Record Lap Times.
Perform Lap Dances.
Defeat all opposing teams as part of all-girl Kung-Fu army.
Change tires.
Strip spare motor out of B bike when A motor blows on the track.
Ride a 30-45 minute shift.**
Possibly meet single motorcycle racers.
(** licensed racers only)

Team Fat BasTARD will be competing under the name "Five ReTARDS on a MoTARD" riding a mostly stock 2000 XR650R SuperMotard in the 600 class. Yes, we are well aware that we're going to have our asses handed to us by every modified R6 600CC sport bike out there, but that's not the point, now is it?

This race is a ton of fun and if you're into motorsports at all, this is the closest access you'll get to a live racetrack. What you wear is mostly up to you. Less IS More.

Required hours are from around 10:30 AM till about 4:30 pm.
You'll get copies of all official photographs taken.

Submit resume, headshots, bodyshots, full nudes and measurements to

Pix of last year's team

Original umbrella girl for Team Fat Bastard here!

I will be out of town.
I'm glad you're finally getting over your whining and riding a dirtbike for more than one hour. It's not that bad.
we will cry and cry, and try to suffer through it without you.

I forgot, what is your main Kung Fu skill?
bad idea generator
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