Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Tarzan went wild tonight. He was crying and hooting up a storm when I got home, and did not really calm down at all.

then around 8pm, he got very excited, and yanked his NG tube out.

Do you know what happens when your infant yanks his NG tube out?

You insert a new one. that's what.

I am banking more and more on the fact that he has Thrush, we have NOT cured it, and I truly think that is the resason he will not eat. Once the Thrush is cleaned up? I'd bet money, marbles or chalk, that he will start eating.

In other news, Governor Ann Richards died. I just saw it on the CNN.

Years ago when I was at the political powerhouse firm of Emory, Young & Associates, we modelled the governor's race based on historical turnout, and predicted her loss by TWO points. We carried this model to her campaign committee, with suggestions of how to better spend resources, and get re-elected. They were not interested, and well, they lost.

What does all this mean? Nothing, it is just a lead in for one of my two favorite stories about Governor Richards.

As a political consultant, I sat in my office and drank a lot. This is an office in TEXAS. None of this California Politically Correct Hippie Bullshit. That's an open bottle of tequila, and if you look on the wall? Those are EasyRiders magazine centerfolds with nekkid wimmen on motorcycles.

I was also the only associate with balls big enough to go into my bosses office, wear his hat, sit at his desk, and prop my feet up.

anyhow, after a long night of data crunching, I was in the conference room and I told one of my favorite jokes.

Ann Richards goes to see a plastic surgeon about a face lift.

He tells her "Governor, I've got good news and I've got bad news, which do you want?"

She says "Bad First"

"Well," he says, "We can do a facelift, but its a heck of a lot of work and is gonna cost $10,000."

"TEN THOUSAND!" she replies, "well, whats the good news?"

"There will be enough left over to make you a new pair of boots!"

So one of the guys in the conference room was on her staff, and went back to her office to repeat my damned hilarious joke.

Peck Young's phone rang later that afternoon, and he called me into his office. Put his hand over the mouthpiece of his phone and said "Charles, it's the Governor, she is not happy, and I am about to yell at you. Do the right thing"

Then he uncovered the phone and said "Yes Ma'am Governor Richards, he is here. One moment"

then to me "God DAMNIT STATMAN, why can't you keep your big mouth shut? I cannot believe you would tell an insulting joke about our wonderful Governor. I ought to fire your ass on the spot. What do you have to say for yourself???"

And I said "I am sorry Mr. Young, I was up all night crunching numbers and poll results for her, and I was tired. It was bad judgement on my part, I am very sorry sir, and I hope you can forgive me, and not fire me. Ladybird the Wonderdog would not like being homeless. Neither would I."

Then he said "Okay, maybe she will accept an apology, now get out of here." but he motioned me to stay in the room.

"Yes Governor, I yelled, yes Ma'am, Yes, it IS a funny joke, but no, he was chastised. Yes Ma'am. Have a good afternoon"

Then he hung up, and told me if I have to tell any more jokes, make sure none of the goddamn weasels from her campaign staff are in the room.

She was a good one. Probably the last Democrat in power in Texas for a long time. RIP Governor Richards.

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