Monday, November 27, 2006

it's 3:45am. Why am I posting at 3:45am? heck, why am I AWAKE at 3:45am?

Saul, our "medically delicate" child (that's the phrase used by the special daycare center) pushed his mentally delicate father to the edge. But just to the edge. Not over.

Usually he is out for his 3am feeding. My alarm jolts me from my sleep at 2:52am every morning. I crawl out of bed, focused on the plan. "The plan is sound. Do not deviate from the plan."

(you may read past the plan, that's where it gets fun)

I prep everything.
Turn on kitchen light
Measure water into the bottle warmer.
Pull bottle out of fridge, put in warmer, but do not turn on.
Pour filtered water into 10ml syringe for flushing tube.
Take 60ml syringe off drying rack
Turn off Kitchen light
60ML Syringe? put in holder on couch.
Put 10ml syringe of water on coffee table.
Go to bathroom myself. Wash hands afterward
Leave light bathroom light on. It provides enough light to change diapers by
Get Baby - from co-sleeper or Sara's bed
Transport baby to nursery and day bed
Unwrap baby
Move baby to changing table
Unsnap sleeper or clothing
Remove wet diaper. (or poopy diaper)
Use baby wipes to thoroughly clean bottom
Use A&D or Desetin grease on baby butt
Put on new diaper
Clean hands on baby wipe
Drop old diaper and baby wipes into diaper thing
Re-snap outfit if clean. If dirty, replace outfit
transport baby to day bed and blanket
Re-wrap blanket
Pick up baby
Walk to den.
Turn off bathroom light on the way
Turn den lights on low low low
Put baby on couch
Hook tube up to syringe
(if midnight, add 1ml PolyViSol from dropper)
Pour 60ml milk in syringe
Lay next to baby, repetitively sing "ahhh ahhh baby" so he sleeps
As syringe drains, pour more milk in, till all milk is in baby.
Disconnect 60ml syringe
Connect 10ml syringe
Gently and slowly flush tube with 5 - 7 ml filtered water
Sit up
Disconnect 10 ml syringe
Gather all syringes, bottles, etc, carry to kitchen sink
Turn on kitchen sink light
Clean all materials with warm soapy water.
Place on drying rack
Turn off kitchen sink light
Record qty of milk, meds (if neccesary), poo size
Pick up baby
Walk to Sara's room, turn off light on the way
Put baby in co sleeper or bed, as Sara requests.
Go back to bed, reset alarm clock for next interval

The Plan is Sound! Do not Deviate from the Plan!

Except for this morning.

While changing, he had very wet diaper. And woke up a little. This was an indication

when changing him? My stupid alarm clock goes off again. If I do not set the slider switch just the right way, it thinks it is in snooze mode. Bastard clock.

Hooked up to tube, 35ml in, he lets the most awful wet fart. I know it is not a fart. I know he just filled his diaper with nasty toxic baby poo. Not a normal poo, but the kind that only shoots out of demon possessed hell-children.

Can I continue to gravage milk into him? (that's the fancy term for gravity feed)

No, the smell creeps out of the blankets, and is overpowering.

I pour the remaining milk from the tube back into the bottle., Disconnect the tube, and transport him to changing table.

He is smiling, and laughing. the laugh of a mad child. A child, who, if he ate, would want raw flesh!

unwrap blanket, unsnap sleeper, and I am hit by 10x the smell.

Remove diaper to find toxic waste dump that rivals three mile island.

5 babywipes later, he is clean. He tries to kick is feet into it, but I know that trick.

New diaper.

re-snap sleeper, re wrap blanket, make ready to transport back to couch.... and? gurgle

gurgle gurgle. GACK! arf. arf. woof, Ruth! Ralph! Chuck! arf woof!

while spinning his head a full 360, he manages to power barf on me, on his clothes, blanket, wall, bookcase, changing table and me again.

then he starts giggling. in a maniacal way.

So off comes the sweatshirt. Now I am cold.

And off comes the blanket, jumper, undershirt, socks

off comes the changing table cover.

I put everything into the laundry pail we keep in his room. Wow, he managed to get barf in there too!

So I clean everything up. first clean Tarzan, and get him re-dressed. We do not want him getting cold. Even though it may seem he is internally warmed by the fires of Hades, he is just a baby, and this is normal. So we want him clean and warm.

He then watches me clean everything else. With a bright smile on his face. Kicking and flailing his arms in a horribly cute manner.

I clean. I clean the floor, I clean the walls, I clean the bookcase, I clean it all.

Then I get a shirt, cause I am very cold.

Re-wrapped, back to the couch, hook tube up, pour in more milk. he is smiling and happy.

All dirty clothes out to laundry, with rest of the white load, we have a full load, so I start the laundry going. Dried puke is icky, so we want to clean it as time permits.

All the while checking on him, he is smiling and fine.

I grab 35ml more milk from the fridge, as he barfed up the first 35.

turn down lights, lay by kid, pour in more milk, rock him and sing "ahh ahh baby" till he is sleeping.

All milk is in. He is snoring. All is quiet and calm. Clean bottles, record data, take him to Sara.

and it is 3:45am. so I write this up. I am keyed. I am hyper, I cannot get back to sleep easily. So I have rings under my eyes, I am tired all day, but? when he smiles? it all seems worth it.

Do not deviate from the plan. The Plan is Sound!

A word of warning - if he catches a stomach flu at daycare (or from anywhere else for that matter) - it will usually last for 24 to 36 hours. During this time DO NOT EVER FILL HIS TUMMY FULL. Doing so will make him recreate what happened to you last night puke-wise. The only solution that I have found that works (meaning keeping them hydrated and not puking no matter what kind of food they are on) is tiny meals very often for the first 12 hours (in our case, nursing every 15 min for only 30 seconds). After the first 12 hours you can increase the amount and decrease the frequency until by 36 hours after the first puke session you are back on the 'normal' schedule again.
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