Monday, April 27, 2020
Dad, I cannot sleep.
Amicably divorced ex-wife and I are focused on our beloved son. HE is why we are civil and calm, you must be. The rest of his life? We will still be his parents, and need to be able to go to events with class and politeness.
Every other Sunday the boy and the dog switch houses. Week with Dad, week with Mom. I’m sure you know the drill. According to the boy, Dad’s house is the house of discipline, structure and schedule. There are chores to be done. Wake up exact same time daily Routine is expected and established. Mom’s house, however, is the house of creative arts, excitement, hang loose, do-as-you-please … but dinner is not always on the table at 6pm. Through these differences, he is learning to navigate the grey areas, and how to be more self sufficient. With two parents and a rescue dog who love him greatly.
“Dad, I cannot sleep” standing next to my bed at 2:15am. “I am anxious about things, and I need to talk”
My brain wanted to say “Get to your bed before I paint your back porch bright red”….. however, I knew “in these uncertain times”.
I let him climb into my bed. Dog followed. Three beings in a full sized futon, at least two of the beings had pretty fierce gas as well. The fancy mental doctor at Stanford’s Pediatric Children’s Center that helps with high-functioning autistic spectrum-boy recently gave solid advice. “He is 13. You are not hurting him letting him sleep in your bed. In another year or so? He will never want to be in your bed again, enjoy the time you have”
Channeling my father (may he rest in peace) I asked “Well Son, what’s on your mind?” not saying “that isn’t so important it cannot possibly wait till after 6am and I can get some needed rest”
Completely bowled over by the discussion
I am anxious
I am worried about the ‘rona – what if I get it, and give it to someone else
Will you keep your job
Do I have to go to a new school next year
I have weird dreams
Penny is farting
Can dogs get the ‘rona
Will you die
What happens if you die before mom
How can they say go back to work – but there is no cure or vaccine
Can dogs get the ‘rona
Will you die
What happens if you die before mom
How can they say go back to work – but there is no cure or vaccine
Why do people think money from the government is free
What do they call the ‘rona in France
How can I help find a cure
Did you know Chocolate is the best ice cream
I think that lady down the street likes you
If I am home all day, why do I have to wear clean underpants
Where does your poop go when you flush the toilet
I hate the possum in our back yard digging up plants, but I don’t want to be a hater
Grandma Jan’s minivan would look cool with 24” rims
I’m glad she didn’t live to see the ‘rona – something her chicken soup cannot cure
I’m teaching myself C-sharp so I can better utilize the unity gaming engine platform
I think a girl in school likes me
and he kept going…. At risk of being overbearing… I stopped him.
Son – it is normal to be worried about the future. A really wise gal I once dated, yes, she was so wise she ran offt cause she knew I was nothing but trouble, anyhow, she told me this phrase, I hope it helps you.
“We cannot know the future”
Its true. We want to know, we wish to know, but the future is an uncertain place that has not happened yet. If you spend all day worrying about it? You risk missing out on the present. Which is lost to you when it becomes the past.
I know you see all sorts of scary stuff in the news, on the interwebs, on social media. This is an uncertain and scary time. BUT! You are doing your best to stay healthy. You are sheltering MOSTLY in place. You are minimizing the Vectors of disease, by not spreading it around.
But you cannot live in fear.
In 1665, when London was in the grips of the Bubonic Plague – (it has nothing to do with boobs) – Sir Isaac Newton socially distanced himself at his family’s farm north of Cambridge. Where, isolated, he invented Calculus. Think of how freaking bored he had to be, to invent calculus!
Saul actually already knows how to do integration to measure the area under a curve – at 13, by the way, I did not fully understand it till my late 20s.
Sir Isaac had choices. He could sit around the farm and mope about, OR he could do something productive with his time, while being socially distant. No cell phones, iPads, laptops, internet. No way to check up on the pretty ladies. He was at a farm.
THINK of the amazing things you could do - if you logged off Minecraft for a bit, worried a little less, then got productive.
AS with ANY discussion of calculus – his eyes grew heavy, and he finally went to sleep.
Leaving me WIDE awake to ponder the effect of the shelter-in-place on his peers, at home and afar. All kids going through this now. Parents are losing their minds, instead of sheltering kids form the bad – they are allowing them to dive into the toxic media cesspool, and suck up all the fear
I’ve heard reports of anxiety, weird dreams, odd fixations. It makes me sad. Kids shouldn’t worry about the future so much. They should have time to celebrate the present. Till they get older and have to take care of other people. Then? They can have all the fierce anxiety, mental issue, etc, all adults do now.
How can we make the world better for kids at home?
I’m getting mine to play with airplanes and read books. Sure, the books are a little ahead of him. Great, he can catch up later.
Do your best. Be kind to others. Stay the Fuck at Home. And for cryin out loud – do anything you can to make a kids life easier.
NO going out for chicken noogie and tootie wipes.
Stay home (unless your job wont let you)
How can I help find a cure
Did you know Chocolate is the best ice cream
I think that lady down the street likes you
If I am home all day, why do I have to wear clean underpants
Where does your poop go when you flush the toilet
I hate the possum in our back yard digging up plants, but I don’t want to be a hater
Grandma Jan’s minivan would look cool with 24” rims
I’m glad she didn’t live to see the ‘rona – something her chicken soup cannot cure
I’m teaching myself C-sharp so I can better utilize the unity gaming engine platform
I think a girl in school likes me
and he kept going…. At risk of being overbearing… I stopped him.
Son – it is normal to be worried about the future. A really wise gal I once dated, yes, she was so wise she ran offt cause she knew I was nothing but trouble, anyhow, she told me this phrase, I hope it helps you.
“We cannot know the future”
Its true. We want to know, we wish to know, but the future is an uncertain place that has not happened yet. If you spend all day worrying about it? You risk missing out on the present. Which is lost to you when it becomes the past.
I know you see all sorts of scary stuff in the news, on the interwebs, on social media. This is an uncertain and scary time. BUT! You are doing your best to stay healthy. You are sheltering MOSTLY in place. You are minimizing the Vectors of disease, by not spreading it around.
But you cannot live in fear.
In 1665, when London was in the grips of the Bubonic Plague – (it has nothing to do with boobs) – Sir Isaac Newton socially distanced himself at his family’s farm north of Cambridge. Where, isolated, he invented Calculus. Think of how freaking bored he had to be, to invent calculus!
Saul actually already knows how to do integration to measure the area under a curve – at 13, by the way, I did not fully understand it till my late 20s.
Sir Isaac had choices. He could sit around the farm and mope about, OR he could do something productive with his time, while being socially distant. No cell phones, iPads, laptops, internet. No way to check up on the pretty ladies. He was at a farm.
THINK of the amazing things you could do - if you logged off Minecraft for a bit, worried a little less, then got productive.
AS with ANY discussion of calculus – his eyes grew heavy, and he finally went to sleep.
Leaving me WIDE awake to ponder the effect of the shelter-in-place on his peers, at home and afar. All kids going through this now. Parents are losing their minds, instead of sheltering kids form the bad – they are allowing them to dive into the toxic media cesspool, and suck up all the fear
I’ve heard reports of anxiety, weird dreams, odd fixations. It makes me sad. Kids shouldn’t worry about the future so much. They should have time to celebrate the present. Till they get older and have to take care of other people. Then? They can have all the fierce anxiety, mental issue, etc, all adults do now.
How can we make the world better for kids at home?
I’m getting mine to play with airplanes and read books. Sure, the books are a little ahead of him. Great, he can catch up later.
Do your best. Be kind to others. Stay the Fuck at Home. And for cryin out loud – do anything you can to make a kids life easier.
NO going out for chicken noogie and tootie wipes.
Stay home (unless your job wont let you)
# posted by cstatman : 7:02 PM
