charles statman

Yak Shaving in the Time of the ‘Rona

One of my best pals called the other day, to ask “Since you survived your first ex-wife Rona?  Does that mean you have any built up tolerance for this current ‘rona’ – sadly, I do not.

Two weeks ago, I realized I am not getting paid enough at my job to die for it. So I asked them if I could work from home, while sheltering-in-place.  Or they could fire me… I’m at that point in life where I don’t much care anymore.

So I’ve been working from home – sheltered in place, and really working more than I was at the plant.  BUT!  After I turn off the computer, and stop answering the company phone (yes, I carry TWO cell phones, it is ridiculous) --- AFTER all that stops – the Yak Shaving commences.

In the early 90s on Nickelodeon, the Ren & Stimpy show described “Yak Shaving Holiday.” It may have been the first popular culture mention of Yak Shaving, however, I have been an active, unwilling practitioner since about 1977, when I fell in love with motorcycles, but was too poor to pay someone else to maintain them, and had to learn mechanics.

Yak Shaving refers to starting one project, becoming distracted by another project, until it waterfalls into you sitting in a field in Outer Mongolia helping a farmer shave his Yak.


With the ‘rona? I have time.  I cannot leave the house.  I have a garage and basement CHOCK FULL of vintage projects.  (or old rubbish, as my second (fortunately amicable) ex-wife refers to it all).   This is a fantastic time to start in on some of those things…..  Did anyone notice I used parentheses inside another set of parenthesis?  We could have a discussion about algebraic order of operations here, but I don’t have time to digress..

Allow the Yak Shaving to commence!

Building stick and tissue balsa model airplane models has long been a hobby of mine.  I’m not particularly good at it, but it requires a modicum of concentration, so I dot slice the fingertips clean off with an xacto knife.   My model building room is in the basement, and as I am headed down to work on current airplane, I realize, it is VERY bright in here..

I will change the light switch in the basement for one of those fancy slidey dimmerey switches.  I have all the parts.   I just need a diagonal wire cutter to trim the existing wires.

So a quick trip out to the garage to get said cutters to trim a wire in the house.

As I open the tool chest, in my peripheral vision, I see a loose screw on the workbench. 

I KNOW, for a fact, that screw is from my dad’s old Hallicrafters shortwave radio, sitting right there on a shelf above the bench.  I might as well get a screwdriver to finally put the Hallicrafter back to right...  20 minutes, one screw, two tubes, a little soldering, and I get it running. Radio Lisbon is coming in loud and clear.  I decide I might as well dust it --- which leads to getting out tung oil and properly clean up the wood on the box.

Since the tung oil out and on rags, it would be a great time to refinish the butt stock on that old .22 squirrel rifle...  which is leaning against the wall, behind the Royal Enfield.

With just a few turn of a socket, I could remove those hideous turn signals, put a fresh sparkplug in,  It will totally crank up now, right?  Might as well check while the stock on the .22 is drying….

Hmmm,  if I wear a helmet, jacket, n95 mask, latex gloves….  I bet I could quickly take it around the block for giggles...

and?  all of a sudden, I am in Outer Mongolia shaving a Yak, and trying to remember why I have a set of diagonal cutters in my back pocket......

Shelter in Place is the ONLY way we are going to beat this thing.  STAY AT HOME.  If you get bored? Start working those projects.

And for cryin out loud – do NOT hoard toilet paper.  Really? Toilet Paper?