Tuesday, July 28, 2020
56 in the Pandemic times
56- how could that happen? I certainly don't FEEL 56. July 25th marked the day. Woo Hoo, happy birthday to me. I wanted some spicy caldo de camarones, so I made myself some. Saul was here. Penny was here - it was low key but nice.
except, you see, some days I do feel 56. Some days I feel a million. Everything aches, I am tired, and I don't feel as sharp as I used to.
I don't think its the 'rona - I believe it is just fatigue from the entire situation.
My mother used to enjoy telling the story of my first grade predictions. Students were tasked to write a paper predicting their life. Seven year old Charles wrote something similar to the following.
I will have to go to school until I am 18
I will graduate and get a job
When I am 20 I will get married
When I am 21 I will get a dog
When I am 25 I will be old and die.
Oddly, I'm still amazed I made it past 25.
Churchill was quoted as saying "If you do not indulge, do not eat too much, do not drink too much, do not smoke too much, and exercise? you will live to be 100. But it will feel like 200."
For me, life is about hard work, with intermediate breaks to include motorcycle rides, a nice meal, and sometimes fun. The pandemic has removed a small part of the small allocation of fun. You cant this, you cant that. blah blah
DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND - I wear my mask, gloves, PPE, and pay attention to my surroundings. I dont go needlessly into crowds. I avoid everything I can - except work - they want me there.
And there is a certain fatigue this brings. THAT combined with age? is making me feel a bit old. My blessing is so many friends telling me on facebook, calls, emails "you inspire me" or "you are so positive, thank you"
I'm here like "WTF? do you even know ME? I am KING of doom and gloom"
Fortunately, I do not project this to my friends. Somehow. I try to remain positive, and help convince the rest of the folks - it will get better. Its just what more of us need right now.
besides, I've already lived 31 years more than Seven year old Me projected. I am ahead of the game.
be strong
do your best
be kind
C
except, you see, some days I do feel 56. Some days I feel a million. Everything aches, I am tired, and I don't feel as sharp as I used to.
I don't think its the 'rona - I believe it is just fatigue from the entire situation.
My mother used to enjoy telling the story of my first grade predictions. Students were tasked to write a paper predicting their life. Seven year old Charles wrote something similar to the following.
I will have to go to school until I am 18
I will graduate and get a job
When I am 20 I will get married
When I am 21 I will get a dog
When I am 25 I will be old and die.
Oddly, I'm still amazed I made it past 25.
Churchill was quoted as saying "If you do not indulge, do not eat too much, do not drink too much, do not smoke too much, and exercise? you will live to be 100. But it will feel like 200."
For me, life is about hard work, with intermediate breaks to include motorcycle rides, a nice meal, and sometimes fun. The pandemic has removed a small part of the small allocation of fun. You cant this, you cant that. blah blah
DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND - I wear my mask, gloves, PPE, and pay attention to my surroundings. I dont go needlessly into crowds. I avoid everything I can - except work - they want me there.
And there is a certain fatigue this brings. THAT combined with age? is making me feel a bit old. My blessing is so many friends telling me on facebook, calls, emails "you inspire me" or "you are so positive, thank you"
I'm here like "WTF? do you even know ME? I am KING of doom and gloom"
Fortunately, I do not project this to my friends. Somehow. I try to remain positive, and help convince the rest of the folks - it will get better. Its just what more of us need right now.
besides, I've already lived 31 years more than Seven year old Me projected. I am ahead of the game.
be strong
do your best
be kind
C
Thursday, July 16, 2020
Work Eats My Pants
When I started new job in November, I'd come in wearing slacks, button down shirt and sport coat. I'm an Operations Manager. I know what that means. Lead teams, build great teams, monitor KPI, increase productivity. I know how to do that.
Then they changed my assignment to on-site, .... at the chemical plant ... that supports a wafer fab.
I work at a huge chemical plant. Thanks Dad. I just can't escape chemistry, even though I could not pass organic chem to save my hide.
Managing a mostly good crew of Union Stationary Engineers, their job is to keep the chemicals flowing to and from the fab, and processing/cleaning all the waste. When they say wastewater treatment, they dont mean poop. they mean water that has washed through the manufacturing process, and is full of HF, Copper, Lead, Arsenic, etc. BIG tanks of the nasty stuff, that have to be purified and cleaned.
Outfit change. 5 brand new pairs of black Dickies canvas carpenter pants, and 5 brand new black long sleeve shirts.
almost 8 months later, all my pants are faded to near grey, covered in holes, frayed seams. The caustic used to process the chemical waste is everywhere. It eats through your clothes if you brush against it. I've replaced the black shirts so often, I lost count. Its the pants that are weirdest. These were some high quality pants, and now? close to rags.
My Union Chief Engineer is a great guy. I like him as a friend. And if you know me, you know that has meaning. I managed to get my company to finally authorize and get a uniform service for the guys. They provide shirts, pants and laundry/repair service for all our engineers. My Chief says "I talked to the uniform company guy - just try on a pair, and they will deliver some for you weekly." (Like I said, I like him, he is a great guy)
I may have to do it.
Because my work eats my pants.
I know, (thanks again dad) what happens to guys who work long term around these kinds of chemicals. Life is shortened, the end is horrible, usually a cancer. Work doesn't just eat my pants, it is slowly going through my body
I know I am supposed to be grateful to have a job "in these uncertain times" - and I do need health insurance. --- but some days are harder than others. Not a lot of companies are hiring. they say they are, but in reality... not so much.
Today I was told TWICE "if you dont xyz, .... I may have to fire you" --- none of the successful managers/leaders in my past? thought threats were the best way to get work done.
I need something different.
While work eats my pants
My leadership is eating my soul.
Then they changed my assignment to on-site, .... at the chemical plant ... that supports a wafer fab.
I work at a huge chemical plant. Thanks Dad. I just can't escape chemistry, even though I could not pass organic chem to save my hide.
Managing a mostly good crew of Union Stationary Engineers, their job is to keep the chemicals flowing to and from the fab, and processing/cleaning all the waste. When they say wastewater treatment, they dont mean poop. they mean water that has washed through the manufacturing process, and is full of HF, Copper, Lead, Arsenic, etc. BIG tanks of the nasty stuff, that have to be purified and cleaned.
Outfit change. 5 brand new pairs of black Dickies canvas carpenter pants, and 5 brand new black long sleeve shirts.
almost 8 months later, all my pants are faded to near grey, covered in holes, frayed seams. The caustic used to process the chemical waste is everywhere. It eats through your clothes if you brush against it. I've replaced the black shirts so often, I lost count. Its the pants that are weirdest. These were some high quality pants, and now? close to rags.
My Union Chief Engineer is a great guy. I like him as a friend. And if you know me, you know that has meaning. I managed to get my company to finally authorize and get a uniform service for the guys. They provide shirts, pants and laundry/repair service for all our engineers. My Chief says "I talked to the uniform company guy - just try on a pair, and they will deliver some for you weekly." (Like I said, I like him, he is a great guy)
I may have to do it.
Because my work eats my pants.
I know, (thanks again dad) what happens to guys who work long term around these kinds of chemicals. Life is shortened, the end is horrible, usually a cancer. Work doesn't just eat my pants, it is slowly going through my body
I know I am supposed to be grateful to have a job "in these uncertain times" - and I do need health insurance. --- but some days are harder than others. Not a lot of companies are hiring. they say they are, but in reality... not so much.
Today I was told TWICE "if you dont xyz, .... I may have to fire you" --- none of the successful managers/leaders in my past? thought threats were the best way to get work done.
I need something different.
While work eats my pants
My leadership is eating my soul.
