Tuesday, May 04, 2021
was sending a young man who is about to graduate college, a story of me, trying to graduate college
figured I may as well save it
a BUH-ZILLIOIN years ago, when the universe was young, and we rode dinosaurs like the Flintstones?
I was trying to graduate from the University of Texas - Austin. Graduation was gonna be on a Friday, My dad was coming to town to see. He went to A&M. Called Austin "that infernal town by the capitol". did not come visit me in college ONCE. -- but he was coming for graduation to make sure i was done with the place.
on Tuesday morning, my phone rang, some office at the school. I did not have enough credits to graduate. I needed to come talk to them.
Bull-fuckin'-shit. I was on my motorcycle and there in mere minutes. Even the folks at the office were freaked out how fast I got there.
turns out, I took 3 sections of a government class, that was offered with same course number, but an A, B & C after the number, that did not show up on the transcript thing. They wanted a letter from the Government Department Dean proving it was 3 separate classes.
Shazam! the motorcycle was a 1977 Yamaha DT400. a large, loud, 2-stroke "dual sport". which really meant a dirtbike with a headlight.
I rode it across the campus to the goverhment building, where, at 9:30am, I found the dean of students about to close up and leave the office. Convinced the dean I needed a letter. Dean called the College of Liberal Arts, and they said "yeah, Charles, guy in a bathrobe, bunny slippers and motorcycle helmet? yeah, we need a letter, not a phone call"
which pissed the dean off, who wrote out a letter on UNiversity letterhead telling them that yes, there really are three parts to the class, that he teaches, that they offer in their catalogue. And maybe the Office of Liberal Arts should pay more attention to the courses than to fundraising. And I should graduate.
thank you very much, ring-ding-ding-ding. -- and I rode BACK to the College of Liberal Arts to present said letter... when? the bastards tell me I have over 2000 unpaid parking tickets for leaving my motorcycle all over campus leaned against buildings, not in parking lots....
uhhhh, (thinking I am totally fucked, because my bike at THAT VERY MOMENT --- was leaned against the side of the building). I KNOW I just wadded them tickets up and threw them away. University police isnt REAL police....
"If you don't let me graduate, I cannot make enough money to pay back the tickets, and I will stay here for-ever. No one wants that do they?"
they granted a waiver, and let my parking record quietly dissapear. They agreed I had all the requirements to graduate, and I could go home and put on real clothes.
Friday I walk drunkenly across the stage, got a bit of rolled up paper that said "we will send your diploma later". Got back to my apartment, and there was a bottle of cheap sparkling wine on the doorstep with a note from a VERY pretty girl from one of my classes that said "call me tonight, lets drink this"
I had to put her off till saturday, she put me off for 2 semesters--- it was worthwhile.
