Friday, April 29, 2005

headed to sears point to race motorcycles this weekend. If you are there, I am in the white sprinter parked across from garage 10. Will be displaying my Texas Pride. We all do

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

2 hours to presentation, I am ready.

Last night we went to Taco Tuesday, lots of people showed up, we had a ginormous bill, it was fun.

Jack posted the photos from my folks visit

Driving in this morning got me to thinking about how lucky I am to not be a moron. The world is full of stupid people, how lucky am I that I am not one of the idiots.

I drive a nice truck, not a hoopty
I live in a nice house, not in a gated community
I have a wonderful gal who tolerates me

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

my folks just left after a long weekend. It was gret to see them, and spend time with family.

Now, I gotta get the race bike prepped for this weekends roadrace at Sears Point. If I did not sleep for the next 3 days, everything could happen.

My company uses a calendar program to track meetings. I just received an invitation to our Senior Vice Presidents Staff meeting tomorrow at noon. The Agenda reads as follows:

Agenda:
Housekeeping- No offices available in O or N. How should we handle on future offices...some managers have an office but don't meet requirements of 8 or more. (Charles Statman-to give a 10 minute update.)


I just found out I'm delivering a 10 minute presentation to senior staff, ... and I heard it through the meeting scheduler!

EEEK! I gotta get busy with another spoonfull o stress.


Side comments:
Fred, thanks for the call
Will, Sorry about your cat
Simon, hope it gets better, keep taking the anti-biotics
Joe, stop looking at her 'pooter'
Sherry, good advice, will do

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I love my uncle, he always reminds me what is important, and helps me with perspective.

and yes, Business off the Street! Got it.

I also Love Sara. no one else would put up with me, I will figure all this out.

So, I needed to post something funny, you know, so everyone understands it's not all ashes and darkness.

My sister sent me this. Longview, Texas my home town.


Another reason to be proud of Longview:

Police: Man called 911 when prostitute wanted more money

By PATRINA A. BOSTIC

Friday, April 15, 2005

Authorities believe a Longview man drove to the police department and called 911 on his cell phone after getting into an argument with a woman because she demanded more money after he had just paid her for a sexual favor.

Steven Perry Knight, 50, picked up Keisha LaShaie Boles, 19, near East Marshall Avenue and Texas Street on Tuesday after she flagged him down and asked for a ride to Eden Drive.

Boles, who later told police that she is a prostitute, hopped into the gray Dodge pickup and says the two agreed that she would perform one sex act for $20 and another for $40.

After she finished the $20 act, Boles said Knight changed his mind about the other, but she still wanted the money that had been promised.

Police arrested Knight at 4:10 p.m. Tuesday for prostitution after he changed his story about where he was going when he encountered Boles, who also was arrested for prostitution. She was still in the Gregg County Jail on Thursday.

Knight, who was released from jail Wednesday, told the Longview News-Journal that when Boles offered her services, he pulled into a convenience store and told her to get out of the truck. He said when she told him she needed money, he offered her $20.

Knight also said Boles told him $20 wasn't enough and that she wouldn't move until he gave her more. He says that's when he drove into the police parking lot and dialed 911.

Police say they arrested Knight because he gave conflicting accounts of how he met up with Boles. First he said he was on his way to get his driver's license renewed and that he had just come from the dentist.

His dentist office is on Doctors Circle at Hollybrook and Fourth Street, which is not in the Marshall Avenue vicinity where he picked up Boles. Neither is the Texas Department of Public Safety on Lake Lammond, between Cotton Street and Jaycee Drive.

Knight then changed his story and told the officer he was just driving around killing time when he met her, police said.

With that, I am off. My folks come in tonight for Passover.


Monday, April 18, 2005

Whenever I get really stressed, I want my life to be like a movie. You know, Sam Elliot runs over me in a parking lot or something, then spends the next 24 hours sorting everything out for me?

It would be really nice if he brought a wheelbarrow full of hunnert dollar bills with him, followed me around and paid everybody off.

So I have this big thought looming in my mind, and I MUST figure out what to do with my life. Sara doesn't want kids. I want a kid. I want a family. I do not want "Jub Jub the Iguana" like Selma Bouvier on the Simpsons.

I carry a bit of paper in my wallet. I've carried it for a long darn time. I was in the "Seven Habits" class when I worked for Dell in 1998. We had to write a mission statement. I didn't, I wrote what I wanted. and I carry it around to remind me of what I think is important.

>>>>>>>>>
I want to live each day to its fullest possibility, seeing the positive, changing the negative, moving steadily forward. Work should be enjoyed, my creativity valued, creating a team of co workers close enough to be friends, developing innovative solutions to any problem. Making enough money to allow financial freedom and not worry about daily race for dollars.

My nest will be built on a foundation of love and partnership. A large, airy, roomy, wooden house full of the love and happiness generated by a wonderful relationship with a wild, sensual, beautiful, intelligent partner. Partnered in raising a family of happy, fun, intelligent, wonderful kids, cats and dogs.

Having the freedom to build and restore old cars and bikes, race once at the Isle of Man, enjoy life in a place with beaches, seasons, books, happiness, love, respect, honesty and kindness. I want to be viewed as a friend who will be there, no matter what, a teacher who gives life knowledge, an honest, compassionate, kind, strong person of amazing integrity and courage, focusing on the positive, not anchored by the negative.
>>>>>>>>>>

Some days I think I stand a chance. Other days I think I am sunk.

At the moment, I am trying to clean up the stuff. I can fix and repair THINGS. I know how to do that. I want to get all my stuff in order, and start dispersing some of it. Less I have, easier it is to walk away from. BUT not, like, Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker. True, I have the van, but I am not LIVIN IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER>...... :)


GPS RMA is fone, I ship it back to Garmin for free repairs tomorrow
Card is returned to frys, new one works
tonight I will consider changing the tub to bromine
slowly, it lines up

I thank ALL my pals who have written or called with some advice. I am trying to 'gel' enough thoughts in my head just to be coherent enough to talk about any of this. And, of course, most importantly, I am trying very hard to be fair with Sara, and let her know I am not jumping to any decisions, and am really THINKING about what all is happening.

I am trying to get enough of a sense in my mind to just be able to talk with her about it, that will help too.



Sunday, April 17, 2005

no decisions, still thinking, gathering input, etc. Nothing will happen quickly, I am just trying to straighten out my life and consider everything. This is hard.

Today, we rode to help Sara's pal Donna fix her bike. I want to see my friend Rebecca, but she leaves for Italy this week for a while.

So we got home, and I worked on MY projects more.

It seems everything I have is broken, and I am bleeding hunnert dollar bills trying to fix it all.

Lesse,
Insulating the house ~ $4k done, but gotta till August to pay
Sprinter - at Happy Vans. Jesse finished the cargo area, but in the wrong fabric. No truck yet
BSA - sidecar brace arm needs 2.5 inches, and the fuel tank is leaking again. - Ken will help
XR 650 Racebike - building bellypan from fiberglass - just my time
Harley - pooped the transmission, is at shop ~ $700?
Air Compressor - stopped, diagnosis? nothing I can do, $300 for service or $300 new one
GPS - won't turn on. Gotta call Garmin ~ $350 to replace
Welder - out of gas, need to buy more $50 + my time to go to welding place
Hot Tub - out of chlorine, gonna switch to Bromine, have to drain & refill. time & $200 supplies
Yard - Ant Infestation, need to spray - my time
Computer- Firewire card is wrong one, must return to frys - my time

I just do not have enough time or money to get it all done, AND?
My folks are coming Wednesday for Passover. I need to figure out a dinner for all my friends on Friday night so they can meet the family.

I just want to sleep and eat pizza. I have not lifted weights for 4 days, I need to change that monday.

Friday, April 15, 2005

I am trying to work through something in my mind, and getting opinions and thoughts from everyone.

Sara and I spoke last night, I'd asked her to decide about kids, by new years (last), and last night
she made a concrete decision. She does not want to have kids,
understanding it COULD
be a relationship breaker. I gotta figure out if I am okay with it


Now, my mind is racing, and I have tons to think about:
How I feel about getting old without kids?
I want kids, but I love Sara too.
Will I regret this in 20 years?
Is it worth leaving her and starting over again.... again?
Stay with Sara, will I think: "She's selfish and doesn't love me cuz she won't have my kids?"
If Sara has kids, will she hate the life she never wanted?


Can I be a dad?
I have changed diapers for friend's kids
I have sat in the ER with broken arms,
I have made PB&Js and cut the crust
I LOVE chatting with 4 year olds where every question is "why"

We are both 40 and after chemo, my 'swimmers' are on ice in Palo Alto. No matter what,
if I want kids, it is gonna involve lots of doctors

I feel I know a bunch of neat stuff to teach and pass on to someone. Without
kids, what happens to that? Who do I leave all my money and crap to when I croak? What
experiences will I be missing out on? What is the point of life?
Will we REALLY be a family
without kids? Two people must agree on this decision if they are to stay together. There is
no compromise. Either you have kids or you don't. And with every choice comes consequences.


I am trying to work this through. Of course I don't have to make any decisions today, but
I am trying to gather input and feelings from people. I need to spend time talking to freinds,
of course with Sara, and thinking a lot. I do not want to lose Sara, but I want kids

I have 3 options

1) Leave Sara, find someone else, have kids
2) Stay with Sara, decide I am okay with no kids, live.
3) Discuss Adoption/Surrogate

I need to decide how strong I feel about #2, and consider #3 before I move to #1.
I feel too old to start all over, again. No big decisions will be made today, this week, so there

a dear pal once told me "we cannot know the future" she was right

Thursday, April 14, 2005

My pal Chris Null is editing Mobile Magazine. They have some really cool articles, I'd check them out if you are into gadgets. (he also ripped me off for his post today about Japanese wierdness) But I got it from Flash, so it is all round.

I also threw the smackdown challenge to him

Dinner for him, his wife & daughter, if he publishes my name in the same sentance with Paris Hiltons. And $100 to his readers who hack my name into Paris' Sidekick. Not that I have any interest "that" way, cause Sara is so amazing and brilliant and beautiful. It's just a challenge to hack something.

And my name is already IN Sara's phone (i hope). More New Orleans

Sherry photos from New Orleans

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

don't pet the cat, if you just met the cat!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Friday Night:

We wandered around Bourbon Street, the key is to drink as much as you reasonably can, stand on balconies, and watch girls bare their chests for plastic trinkets. Wow. Beads = boobs? Weird.

Sara was on a mission, she wanted to find me a cow spotted cowboy hat. They seem to retail for $20, she wanted to see $10, ended up at $15. She is the shark.

Sherry arrived late, but called. I walked back to the hotel, swapped shoes, met Sherry, wandered back to Bourbon to see everyone else. Sherry warned me. NO Lucky Dog. They don’t call it dog for nothing.

Found Kate, Greg & Sara, and walked back to a bar called the Dungeon. Paid to get in, had a drink, it was very loud but cool. Kate and I were about to pass out from tiredness. We wandered back to the hotels, and slept.

Saturday morning:

Wake at 8:40am, meet Sherry in the Lobby, walk to Café Beignet on Royal for the voodoo tour. Greg & Kate slept in. We wandered the walking tour, less voodoo, more new Orleans history. Cool. Churches, Storyville, then the above ground cemetery. Apparently, if the water table is high, coffins pop back up out of the ground, so you build tombs. Leave the dead in the coffin in a tomb for a year and a day (passing at least one summer) the body rots and cooks, open the tomb a year and day later, dump the remains of the coffin, push it in the back, off a ledge, down into a pit with the rest of the family, and ready for the next one.

Stopped at Marie Leveaux voodoo queen tomb, Sherry made offerings, and out of the cemetery to Congo Square park.

End of tour at Princess Miriam Williams Voodoo Cultural Center. The Priestess latched on to Sara, and told her some interesting things. Build Confidence, gain Confidants. It was pretty cool. Also to get outside more. I dunno, I think Sara figgered it all hocus pocus.

Then found Kate & Greg at the Jax Brewery Mall, wandered, had lunch at Old New Orleans Eatery, or something like that. Yummy catfish, Sara had A2Fay, walked back to Bourbon, bought trinkets, had ice cream, wandered to perfume shop on Royal for Sherry, then back to Decatur along the river for tourist bits for Greg & Kate,

Dropped them at Canal Street, walked to our hotel to rest. Will meet them at 6:30 for dinner.

Friday, April 08, 2005

My main man Matt. 5am. At our house delivering the ride to the airport. You know, you can’t just phone any of your pals and ask for a 5am ride. It is good to have friends.

Got on the flight in San Jose at 6:30am. Out in Houston at noon, with 20 minutes to get the next flight. IN to New Orleans around 3pm, and one wild cab ride from the airport. I will not speculate to heritage other than middle eastern.

Driving a shagged Ford four door in ways that would make Michael Schumacher take note. This guy was on fire. 4 lane drifts, passing on the right shoulder, my favorite was a 65 mph run in traffic across the median ¼ mile AFTER the road split. Sure there were solid white lines and gravel pits, but he had it all under control.

Check into the LaQuinta. No, this one is not next to Dennys.

Walk around the French Quarter. Stop and eat at some café I have already forgotten the name. Back to the hotel for a nap, then 6:45 march to Chartres & Tolouse at some Irish bar, for the Haunted Mystery Walking Tour of the French Quarter. I highly recommend Martha at the 7:30 tour. She was polite and not yelling. We passed about a million more tours, with yelling guides. Yelling? Bad!

Dinner at the Star restaurant on Decatur. We arrived kinda late, and my prime rib was very well done, very NOT medium rare, but it tasted so good, I did not mind.

Back to the hotel to scribble log on, then sleep.

Tomorrow our sisters arrive.

Friday

I had crazy dreams last night. Sara wakes up every morning and tells me she had crazy dreams the night before. I rarely dream. Last night I dreamt I got mad at her and left. This is it, we are done, I cannot put up with you any longer, goodbye. She drove away in a red pickup truck that belonged to a handyman helping one of our neighbors. I told you, Crazy Dreams.

We slept late, which was nice, showered, and walked to the Café DuMonde to meet Greg and Kate. They had already eaten, Sara got some Beginets and Coffee to go, and we walked over to the statue.

Behind the Café is a statue of a girl sitting beside a fountain. In 1982 I took a photo of me with my hand on her breast. In 2002 my pal Flash took the same photo. So We revisited statue and did it again.

We all walked through the French Market. Sara bought some cute cheap sunglasses, but does not like them in the sun. Saw fun stuff, got another magnet for my negrobelia collection, then wandered up through town to the hotels. Greg & Kate are staying at the Marriott on Canal, about 2 blocks away from us. We dropped them off, then came back to the LaQuinta on Camp for a rest. Will see how lunch goes. Sherry comes in tonight.


Pre photos og me & creech racin from last weekend. I am on the balck & Red bike, he is on the orange bike, I did beat him. Waiting for Gary Rathers page to come up


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I dropped the Sprinter off with Jesse at Happy Vans this morning. After our weekend at the races, I have a much better idea of what needs to be built.

Overhead Shelf: more package space above my head. He'll put in a thin shelf above the passenger and driver, running the width of the van. This will be great for small items, clothes, snacks, etc. with a 12v power outlet in the center above the mirror. You know, for the radar detector, so I don't have snakey cords everywhere.

Rear Shelves: Heavyweight folding shelves that run the length of the cargo compartment. These will fold up when not in use, then out as shelves, so I can put 3 plastic packing tubs on each shelf. So I can carry 6 large tubs, overhead, above the motorcycles, and out of the way. This will be great for racing supplies, leathers, cookies, etc. one shelf on each side of the van.

Insulate & Carpet: Industrial carpeting over a thin plywood skin, which is over insulation, in the cargo area. This will reduce noise, and cushion the back, Making for much better storage. He will add 'cargo pockets' in the doors and wall, where there is room. It will also keep the back very cool and comfortable.

Still to determine? A possible roof vent in the rear, and possibly pulling out some of the cabin box seat/storage and replacing with 2 fold out jump seats. Generator? side awning?

Monday, April 04, 2005

i am soo tired. Went racing in Buttonwillow this weekend. Did okay. Had fun, am so tired, I cannot think. More later.

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